Page 56 of Hard to Love

He asked Hardy for $250,000. He was willing to go broke to win you back. Lea deposited the money into Hardy’s account, and we set up a sting. We got him arrested after getting the papers. We combed through them for hours the other day. Finally, I found what was so important.

Erica had been dead two days before Hardy left town with me. He told the truth for all these years. She had disappeared with another man who was also found dead.” One pauses when he sees I’m shaking.

“Hardy spent all these years thinking this was his fault. I’m so happy he knows he did what he could, that he’s a good man,” I say as I wipe a tear as it falls.

“You have no clue. The baby had a DNA test. It was for the cause of death and medical records, like blood testing. The baby wasn’t Hardy’s. He paid for a funeral and the expenses for a family that was never his. Hardy was pleased to know you were right.” Chord pats my knee after One stops to tell me the next part.

“He said you always had faith he was a good man. Saying you believed he deserved a great love.” One knocks into my knee as Chord finishes.

“Is there more?” I ask the both of them, turning my head from side to side to see them look at each other. Their eyes flash to one another as they fight a war without a word being said. “What?”

“There’s more, but it’s not our place to tell you.” Chord lays back on the couch with an exasperated sigh.

“He believes in your love. He said you’ll come back on your own, just like he did. That the two of you are destined.” One smiles at me. “Damn, man believes in you so much; it made him believe in himself. That’s love.”

“What is it he didn’t want me to know?” They trade a look again; One’s face says ‘don’t,’ but Chord’s expression is all for telling me. “Tell me.” Chord stands, pushing up his sleeves as One joins him.

“Talk to Hardy and Walker. They need to be the ones to tell you. We’ve already told more than we should have. I’ve got a woman waiting. I’m sure Lea’s waiting for One to impregnate her again. What’s up with that bun in the oven yet?” Chord is gonna get his ass beat.

“I tell you what, little brother, I’ll let her know you said it; she can take care of you.” One hits Chord in the stomach. “I can only hope she’s waiting on me like that when I get home. God knows I love her pregnant.” Chord and I trade a look before we burst with laughter.

“Yeah, we know,” we say in unison, making us laugh louder. One smirks at us as he drags me into a hug.

I try to make a little order in my house after my brothers’ leave, but it’s of no use. It’s a disaster. Just before bed, I take Bindi out. Snuggling into a sweatshirt, I inhale deeply, loving the comforting scent. It elicits a warm, nostalgic feeling deep inside me. Comfort I haven’t felt in a long time, Something I’ve been missing.

I keep running Hardy’s story over in my mind, what it has to do with Walker. I grab my keys and help Bindi into the truck. It’s time I talk with an old friend. Turning onto Highway Seventeen, I think about how I could drive this road with my eyes closed.

I drive out to Still Creek, taking the dirt road to the clearing where so many of my days have been spent in the last year. Looking toward the pond for the man I wanted to spend the rest of my life with before everything failed and the dam broke.

There, by the pond, the old metal glistens under the full autumn moon from the dew that has fallen on it. Hardy sits in his truck, head against the back glass. It’s a crisp November night, even for the beach. He must be freezing his ass off.

He hasn’t so much as moved when I pull alongside his truck, just rolls the window down in response to mine. Lulu peers over at Bindi when his little bark disturbs her. She looks so good; I have to hug her. I jump from my truck, running around to Hardy’s passenger side to yank the door open.

Lulu practically assaults me with love and kisses. I break into a giggling fit as we fall to the ground. We wrestle as she licks me, making me laugh even louder. I’ve missed her so much. I hear a little bark, then another. It’s enough to interrupt our reunion.

Glancing up, Hardy stands with Bindi in his arms. Bindi is licking Hardy’s face as he tries to hold off the little ball of fur. I’m not sure which is more adorable, Bindi’s love licks or Hardy’s smile? He looks down at me, stretching his hand out in an offer to help me up.

“Ground’s cold; you don’t need to get sick before your big day.” My smile fades, and I refuse his hand for the help up, making him chuckle. “Seems as though we’ve been here before.” I narrow my eyes at him.

“Yeah, you kept saying you didn’t want me then, either. So what’s new?” He narrows his eyes at me now.

“Nothing. Still secretly want you, trying to figure out why you’re here.” Smartass. He knows it, too, by the smirk growing on his face.

“I want to hear it from you. All of it, Hardy. I deserve that much.” Helping Lulu back into the truck, Hardy sets Bindi in with her.

“Erica died a few days before I even left town. I wasn’t with her. The baby wasn’t mine. I’m sure someone in the family has told you this already, so why the need to hear it from me?” He’s such a fucking asshole.

“Not that part, the other stuff. What’s Walker got to do with it? Other than going to college with the guy.” Hardy turns around, walking to the back of his truck. He pulls the tailgate down, sliding across it to get comfortable.

“No, Thayer. That’s his business. I’m not playing a game to win you back. My love is sufficient to do it; I don’t need to hide from you another minute. That’s how I lost you in the first place. I’ll never do it again.” Hardy looks at the ground as he grips the bed.

Maybe it’s the moon, perhaps it’s love, but in the chilly fall air, goose bumps run up my back as the hair on my body stands to attention. Hardy’s cologne assaults my senses, and I’m overcome with just how perfect this man is. He’s willing to let me go for all the wrong reasons and to refuse me for all the right ones.

Still, I think of his words and realize he’s got it all wrong. Why he left. Why he came back. Why I’m standing here, waiting on him. He can’t see why I won’t come back. Why do I refuse to be with a man who doesn’t believe in us.

“Is that the reason you believe you lost me?” I thought for sure he had learned something. Damn, will he never get a clue? This is the exact reason I kept walking after One and Lea’s wedding. He just sits there, eyes downcast, believing in everything but us. “You’re a real asshole, you know that?”

Angry, I rush over to his truck door, jerking it open and taking Bindi in my arms. A quick pat on the head for Lulu, and I’m around the front of his truck, climbing into mine. I grab the handle to slam the door shut, but it doesn’t move. Hardy.