Page 99 of Heart of the Desert

Erix’s posture was slumped compared to the usual fierce set of his shoulders, but it was not the utter collapse of grief.

“She will live,” he assured. “Although I’m not sure she’ll ever bear my weight again.”

My eyes burned. It was too much. Too much loss. And yet we would have to weather more. I looked down at the mallet in my hands before glancing around as if trying to find some other way to help—to keep any more blood from running out like water I was trying to hold in my cupped hands.

“You won’t be able to help anybody if you collapse of exhaustion,” Erix pointed out, sensing the direction of my thoughts clearly enough. Just as I could sense the heavy despair in him. His exhaustion was tinged with guilt, and my soul ached with the knowledge that he blamed himself for the loss of the Heart.

“All right,” I agreed. “We will rest, and tomorrow we will figure out what comes next.”

Erix took my arm and led me through the chaotic outline of an encampment to a familiar tent. He had somehow set it up before coming to fetch me, and a rush of warm gratitude washed over me. As we ducked inside, I found our sleeping mats laid out side by side.

I instantly drifted toward mine, ready to collapse into Erix’s arms and escape into unconsciousness for a few hours, but Erix stopped me, dragging me over to the far corner where he had stored a full water skin.

Carefully, he poured some onto a cloth and reached for my hand. I gave it to him, before reaching down and realizing it was still covered with blood, now dried and sloughing off in copper flakes. I swallowed as he gently wiped it from my skin. I was shocked it didn’t leave stains.

Once my hands were clean, he reached for my face. The cloth came away with more dried blood—I had nearly forgotten the cut on my eyebrow.

“I’m glad more of this wasn’t yours,” he admitted quietly. The whispered words seemed somehow louder than all the clash of battle had been, in a way quiet only is after screaming chaos.

“I wish it were enough to sate the desert.”

He swallowed, and I traced the movement of his throat—the pulse that still fluttered there, proving he had survived. “I fear she will only be angrier than ever. Her Heart isn’t just broken but lost. And we both know that the passions of this youngest sister can be unforgiving. I fear I have only hastened our end.”

Words I spoke to Aderyn once echoed in my head. A promise that as long as we still lived, there was some tiny shred of hope. And I was stubborn enough to hold on to even the barest possibility of survival.

“Tonight the world can end, and tomorrow we will get up and fight again.” I echoed my own words.

“As long as I’m here with you as the world ends.”

Although it did not completely break through the heaviness in my chest, a smile threatened the corners of my lips. I plucked the damp rag from Erix’s fingers and set it down before leading us over to the bed rolls. Then, I laid down beside him and wrapped my arms around him. He molded himself into me in return, tucking my head beneath his chin and breathing deeply into the top of my head.

The scents of blood and sweat clung to his skin and clothes, but beneath it, lingered the salty freshness of the ocean where it met the shore. As we melted together, I pondered that at least we could make these two halves fit into a perfect whole.

Chapter thirty-five

Erix

The morning dawned red and hazy. The sun refused to fully shine, hanging near the horizon in a muted orb. The blinding heat of the midday sun was a common enemy, but somehow this was worse.

The desert knew that her Heart was in enemy hands. The bitter taste of her anger lingered on the air, and the chattering in my head that had been quieter since my conversation with Kelvar returned. Somehow, though, the madness it evoked tasted different. It wasn’t as frenetic and all-consuming but tinged heavy and mournful. As if the desert grieved.

The clans grieved along with her.

As Keera and I walked shoulder to shoulder through the camp, my eyes burned with the smoke drifting in the air. It would not fade for quite a while as all the dead were burned and their bodies returned to the desert.

“We should gather the lords,” Keera observed grimly, looking around. “Or at least the ones that are able.”

The camp was slow to wake up after everybody had been up late tending to the injured. But we could not wait. Every minute we delayed was another minute where the Heart could move beyond our reach. I did not want to believe that Calix could use it in such a state, but I also feared his ingenuity.

If people from beyond our borders had known more about the creation of our own home and the goddesses, I did not like to wonder what other knowledge they might have.

And while it seemed that the desert currently mourned her Heart being taken, I knew from experience that after loss came vengeance. The Heart needed to be reclaimed and healed before the time for retribution came.

“We will find who we can.”

We happened upon Warrick first, who cleaned his double-bladed axe near where Doran’s ships had been gathered. His men no longer kept to themselves in a separate camp but were intermixed within the large swath of life gathered around the oasis. In fact, no one had demarcated separate areas for each clan in all the chaos, and everybody had simply found an open patch in which to pitch their tent, uncaring that their neighbor might be somebody they had once drawn swords against.

Today, we were all on the same side, even if it was the losing one.