Page 38 of Knot What I Expected

Fuck that so hard.

I refuse to go back and become some sort of trophy because of what hides beneath my skin.

And I sure as hell won’t let them get their hands on my son.

My stomach twists.

Matteo.

Everything comes back to him.

Always.

I grab the mascara from the counter and lean closer to the mirror, carefully applying it while trying not to think about the balance in my checking account.

Or the amount I need to send.

Or my brother.

Nando.

Goddammit.

Every month, I send him as much money as I can spare.

Sometimes more than I can spare.

Sure, Nando is the one who got me out. The one who helped me disappear.

And as fucked up as everything between us has become, he’s still the only reason Ethan hasn’t found me yet.

At least, that’s what Nando keeps telling me.

I have to believe him.

What other choice do I have?

My brother is still a member in good standing with the Suicide Cliff Wake.

So, yeah, he is still in the loop. He knows what Ethan is doing. He knows when people start asking questions. And most importantly, he knows how to redirect those questions before they lead here.

To Montana.

To Ember Hollow.

To me.

To Matteo.

So I keep Nando happy.

Even when his messages come too often. Even when the amount he needs keeps getting bigger. Even when I know exactly where most of that money is going.

My brother is weak.

I love him.

I hate admitting that about him, but it’s true.