Page 103 of Everlasting Vows

A sense of contentment overwhelms me as the kids come traipsing back inside. “Luke and I are just going to head home for a couple of hours so Luke can pack some clothes. We’re going to move in here for a while,” Prue announces as she wraps her arms around Murphy’s waist. She looks up at him, a grin stretching her lips wide. “I want to hang with my big brother.”

I watch Murphy’s shoulders tense, but he smiles down at his sister. “You guys don’t have to do that.”

“I want to.” She kisses his cheek and pushes away from him. “We’ll be back in time for dinner,” she calls to me over her shoulder.

“Okay.” I grin, turning to Murphy. “Having both of my children home is going to be so much fun,” I sigh. “It’ll be like old times.”

Once we’re alone, Murphy turns to face me fully, his face crumbling. “It won’t be like old times. I’m still working through shit, Mom. I need you to know I’m not fully healed.” He taps the side of his head. “Sometimes I fall apart. I’m stronger than I was in the hospital, but I still have tough days. I need you to understand that. If you don’t think you can handle that, I’ll find somewhere else to stay.”

My heart splits right down the middle to see Murphy so uncertain. He’s already shown how strong he is; he doesn’t need to prove anything to anybody. I reach for him, squeezing his forearm. “This will always be a safe place for you; nobody here is going to judge you. You don’t need to find somewhere else to stay.” Anger burns bright in my chest at the thought of Murphy not feeling safe here. That he’s worried I won’t cope with his moods. “We’re your family, Murph. You’re safe here.”

Guilt clouds his features, and I watch his Adam’s apple bob up and down. He hangs his head, looking at the floor. Slowly, he shakes his head. “I guess so.” He’s always been protective of others, just like Nix. “But what happens if I’m having a bad day?”

I crouch down, catching his eyes. “Then you have a bad day and we’ll support you. You’re allowed to have them. I have them, so does Prue, Luke, and your dad. It’s what being human is.” I cup his cheek and kiss him. “Come on. Let’s get you settled.”

With a full stomach and a full heart, I sigh as I walk out of our bathroom. The sight of my husband reclining bare-chested in our bed is the cherry on top of a brilliant day. We have our entire family under one roof tonight for the first time in what feels like forever. If it weren’t for Murphy’s life-changing injuries, life would almost be perfect.

Nix places his phone on the side table and swivels his head in my direction. “That was a loud sigh. You okay?”

I smile at him. “Yeah. It was a satisfied sigh.” I rub the cream into my hands and arms until it disappears. It’s a constant battle to keep the dryness of my skin at bay these days. I press my knee into the mattress. “It feels good having everyone here.”

He grins as he reaches across and grips my waist, dragging me across the bed until I’m straddling his hips. My hands land on his broad shoulders as I steady myself with a chuckle. His warm hand slides up my spine until he reaches beneath my hair. He grabs a handful and tilts my head to the side, then touches his mouth to my collarbone.

His hot breath coats my skin, sending a wave of goosebumps scattering across the surface. “It does feel good, but not as good as having you here with me,” he murmurs, making my heart skip and flip and flop.

It’s been a tough five months for us. For our family.

But we’re still here, and I believe Nix and I are stronger than we’ve ever been. There’s a level of honesty and appreciation that I don’t think we ever had before, which feels solid. I know that doesn’t sound sexy, but when everything’s felt so unstable for so long, solid is sexy.

I sift my fingers through the short strands of his hair as I trace my eyes over every millimeter of his handsome face. A face I want to see every single day I’m alive. I want to watch the silver in his hair steal more real estate, and I want to see the creases around his eyes deepen. I want to be beside him as we welcome our first grandchild, and I want to be with him as we celebrate each and every birthday and milestone to come.

He watches me as I watch him, and he squeezes my hip. I shift a little, and he brings his legs up behind me until his feet are flat on the bed. We used to sit like this all the time when there was only us to think about.

His fingers toy with a lock of my hair, and his eyes drop to watch. A small smile tilts his lips slightly, and he returns his eyes to mine. “Remember when the kids were young, and they seemed to take turns waking through the night. We were both so tired that we’d be short with each other during the day, but at night when we finally crawled into bed, I’d know that everything would be okay with us when you’d lay your head on my chest.” I nod. “Sometimes I worried we wouldn’t make it through those days.”

I nod again, still toying with his hair. He leans back into my touch with a lopsided grin. “I remember.” I breathe deeply. “They were long days and nights. But I was always grateful when you were by my side. It was so much worse when you were away, and I had to deal with it alone.”

His expression falls as his grip on my hip tightens. “I’m sorry. I never really gave my absence much thought back then, and I guess I never really considered the effect my more recent absence had on you and our family. I should never have joined the military. I should have been more present … for you. For our kids. You were always so capable; I figured you preferred things the way they were because you had everything under control.”

I rush to press my finger over his lips to stop his words, and shake my head adamantly. “Joining the military was important to you, and I never would have held you back even though I was terrified of losing you. You were put on this earth to help people. To keep them safe, and I’m proud of you for following your dream to do that.” I grin at him, and it’s so big I’m certain my dimples are on full display, but then my smile falls away. “Were there times I was unhappy that you were away from us, even when you left the army? Absolutely. I won’t lie or hide my feelings anymore. Not the way I used to.” He brings my hand to his lips and kisses my palm, sending a riot of butterflies cascading through my stomach. “Our marriage hasn’t been easy, and it hasn’t been perfect. But it’s been ours.” I cup his cheeks and press my lips to his, then pull away a fraction so I can see him clearly. “As difficult as it’s been, and as much as I wish things had been different between us these last few years …”—I draw a deep breath, inhaling Nix’s familiar scent—“I think we’re stronger than ever, and maybe our life together unfolded exactly how it was supposed to.”

“Abs,” he breathes. “I’ll never forgive myself for hurting you the way I have.” He closes the space between us, pressing his lips to mine. “I love you,” he murmurs against my mouth.

“I’ve forgiven you,” I whisper. “And I love you, too.”

His warm breath rushes over my lips a second before his mouth covers mine. He kisses me deeply, with passion that’s waxed and waned over the years, but has survived the trials of marriage. Slowly, our tongues unite, brushing against each other with familiarity borne from decades of being together. The need for oxygen becomes secondary as we fall into each other. Deeper in love, more in tune, better aligned than we’ve ever been.

EPILOGUE

35

ABBI

seven weeks later—the wedding

The bang of the bedroom door against the wall jolts me awake, then Prue’s squeal snaps my eyes open.

“Today’s the day!” she sings, as she dive-bombs her father and me on our bed, just the way she did every single birthday and Christmas when she was little, making the mattress bounce and Nix groan.