Page 35 of Everlasting Vows

I feel like my brain’s going to explode. “What difference would it make to say something? The work needs to be done, and this is the only time I have available.”

“I would have understood that you needed to work,” she says.

“Would you, though?” The words are out of my mouth before I think them. But it’s a fair question. She’s made it clear she despises my work and the time it takes away from her and our family, and I completely understand where she’s coming from. I was dedicating too much time. Time I’ll never get back.

She steals her gaze from mine, and silence falls between us, heavy and thick like the early morning fog that often sweeps through the city. I’m almost tempted to take the question back. To apologize. To soothe the hurt that swept over her features because of my thoughtless words.

I’m floundering.

We’ve never been so distant.

It’s impossible to have a conversation without it going sideways. It reminds me of my time overseas, where our lives depended on choosing the placement of each goddamn footstep for fear of being blown up. I hate that our marriage is so volatile that any wrong word could destroy it.

I reach across for her hand, but she slides it away and into her lap. “Ab⁠—”

“No, you’re right.” She glances at me. “No need to apologize for asking an honest question.” She shifts on her stool. “Do what you need to do so you don’t have to work all night. Okay?”

“But I don’t⁠—”

She cuts me off. “It’s fine.”

“I promised you,” I counter.

“I know you did. But sometimes things happen that get in the way,” she whispers and lifts her mug to her quivering lips.

“I don’t want to lose you, Abbi.” She smiles at me, but it’s sad and empty. “I love you.”

Her eyes soften. “And I love you. But sometimes it isn’t enough. It’s nobody’s fault. It’s just the way it goes sometimes.” She shrugs as if she didn’t just rip my beating heart from my chest. “Sometimes what we want and the partner we have are no longer compatible.”

I shake my head, anger at Abbi simmering beneath my skin. “I don’t believe that for one minute, and I don’t think you believe it either,” I grumble. “I’m not giving up that easy and neither should you.” I point to my closed laptop. “I’m prepared to make sacrifices for us, Abbi, and you shouldn’t settle for anything less.” Jerking my head toward her mug, I tell her, “Now, drink up and go to bed. I still have work to do.”

Silence simmering with animosity falls between us, and it takes every cell in my body to stay where I am and not return to my laptop. I know I’ve done wrong by Abbi. I understand I’ve hurt her, and I’m certain I’ve done more damage tonight. I’m at a loss as to how to find solid ground with my wife. I never would have imagined we’d be as distant as we are now. My skin prickles with discomfort, and my heart aches with loneliness. Hopelessness sinks in as the realization settles over me that this may very well be the end of my marriage.

13

NIX

The steaks for our late lunch/early dinner sizzle on the grill while I explain the plans for our backyard and the work we’ve done so far to Luke. While I’ve made a significant dent in the work, there’s still so much to do. I’m kicking my own ass for not doing it sooner.

He takes a pull of his beer. “I should probably help since you’re doing all of this for Prue and me.”

Looking at him, I shrug. “If you want to, but it’s not necessary. We’re doing the things we’ve always wanted to do. The wedding just gave us a purpose and timeline to get it done.” I swig my beer. “Take some advice from an old man. Don’t put things around the house off for another day. Do them when they need to be done.”

He chuckles, crinkles forming at the edges of his eyes. “Fat chance of that happening. Prue can be pretty demanding about getting things done within her timeframe. She lets me know in no uncertain terms if she’s unhappy about something.”

Well, good for Prue. I’m not sure who she inherited that trait from, but I’m glad she stands up for what she wants.

I watch Abbi and Prue wander around the fire pit, tracing their fingers over the smooth stone I finished this morning, ready for Theo to start with the timber work on Monday. The timber’s stacked nearby, and the color works perfectly with the stone I chose. My next task is to lay the stone pathway that will lead from the fire pit to the back porch. My back aches at the thought of the work involved in that project.

They make their way up to us, and Prue wraps her arms around my waist and presses up on her toes to kiss my cheek. I wrap an arm around her, my heart full to exploding, and kiss her temple in return. “Dad, the fire pit looks amazing. Thank you so much for everything you’re doing. It’s going to be incredible.” She looks at Luke. “Mom was telling me everything they’re going to do. It’s going to be so beautiful.”

Luke smiles at her as if she’s the beginning and end of everything in his world. “Yeah, Babe. Your dad was just telling me about their plans.”

“Your mom and I want it to be perfect for you.” I look at Abbi over Prue’s head as she watches us closely, a pensive expression tightening her features.

Prue squeezes me tight, and I chuckle when I look down into her warm brown eyes, which are exactly the same as Abbi’s. “And it will be. I love you, Dad,” she whispers, then kisses my cheek again.

My heart flips and grows as it always does when my daughter tells me she loves me. At least one of the women in my life does. Prue’s always made me feel like a king. In her eyes, I can do no wrong, which is a testament to Abbi that she hasn’t been sharing our troubles with our daughter, especially with the amount of time they’ve been spending together shopping for the perfect wedding dress and shoes.