Page 27 of Snowy Surprises in the Highlands

Bella felt her face warming. ‘Oh, I don’t know about that. You’d have to ask him.’

Kerr chuckled. ‘Nah, I know he knows. You’re a very special person, Arabella Douglas. And I’m so happy for you.’

Bella’s eyes began to sting. She had never really seen this genuine side of Kerr and it made her a little sad he hadn’t been like this when they were together. He really had changed from the self-centred, cold-hearted cad of a man she once knew. ‘Don’t, you’ll have me bawling my eyes out. It doesn’t take much at the moment.’ She laughed as she dabbed at her eyes. ‘So, any chance of wedding bells on the horizon for you and Charlotte?’

Kerr huffed the air from his lungs and turned to look out across the loch. The sky was a mix of blue, purple and orange as the sun had begun its descent behind them, taking its warmth with it. ‘Honestly, I don’t know. I think I’m still waiting for the next thing to go wrong. You know, waiting for the other shoe to drop. Don’t get me wrong, I’d love for us to be a proper family but I’m still not sure I’m ready for that level of commitment.’

‘You don’t trust her?’ Bella asked.

He shrugged. ‘I don’t think it’s her I don’t trust. I… I think it’s me.’

‘But you’re sober now, and you’ve stopped gambling, haven’t you?’

He nodded, still not making eye contact. ‘I am and yes, I have. I’m a completely new man.’ He gave a laugh. ‘I just… I look back on the person I used to be and how I treated people, and I suppose I…’ He sighed. ‘I don’t think I deserve to be happy.’

She reached up and turned his face with her hand, so he looked directly at her. ‘Kerr MacBain, that’s ridiculous and I think deep down you know it is. You’ve made amends. People have forgiven you.’

He gazed deep into her eyes, his brow crumpled in what seemed to be regret. ‘Have you forgiven me, Bella?’

She nodded and smiled. ‘Absolutely. One hundred per cent.’

A wide smile spread across his face and his eyes became glassy. He pulled her into a hug. ‘Thank you. I mean that from the bottom of my heart. Thank you, Bella. You’ve just given me hope. Of all the people I hurt, you’re the one who has the most right to hate me. Knowing you don’t means the world to me.’ He released her from his embrace and cleared his throat. ‘Bloody hell. And you think you get emotional easily,’ he said with a laugh as he wiped at his eyes.

Bella swiped her own tears away. ‘We’re a great pair, aren’t we?’

He nodded and cleared his throat. ‘I know thinking about what could’ve been is never really helpful, looking back is hard especially when you have so many regrets, but… Well, you know.’ She understood his unspoken words, but she’d moved on and was happy with Harris. Kerr knew that, too, and she guessed that’s why he left things unsaid.

He held out his elbow. ‘Come on, I’ll walk you back up to the castle, eh?’ Bella linked her arm through his and they set off, leaving the still water behind them.