Page 41 of Happiness Under a Summer Skye

As Angelia drove, the sun was beginning to make its ascent, casting a warm amber glow over the coast that reflected on the water. The sea was fairly still, and the world was quiet apart from the odd jogger or dog walker, and, of course, the wildlife darting in and out of the hedgerows. A large barn owl flew low over her car, its wide, expanded wings cutting silently through the air as it eyed her suspiciously before seeking out a hiding place in an oak tree at the side of the road, its heart-shaped face peeping out through the branches.

She eventually pulled into Glentorrin and immediately felt her shoulders relax. What was it about this place? She parked the car in front of the shop and climbed out, stopping for a moment at the railing that surrounded the inlet of water the village was situated around. She inhaled the fresh, salty air and watched a couple of seagulls bobbing about on the water without a care in the world. The village was sleeping for now, but it wouldn’t be long before the shop and bakery were buzzing with people starting their days. It was picture-postcard perfect at that precise moment and she breathed deeply, trying to memorise the feeling of peace.

As she watched the seagulls overhead catching thermal columns of air to float on, she began to replay the video call in her mind. So much had come to light in such a short space of time that it had felt quite overwhelming. Josh was getting married, Heath was going to be a dad again but this time to a wee girl, Bear wanted to keep chickens, Anouk wanted to be a solo act, Dom wanted to marry his boyfriend and adopt babies. And Angelia… What would she do? Who would she be? What would her future look like?

She had no clue. Absolutely none. But she knew she couldn’t sit around doing nothing. It would drive her mad. But what was she capable of now? She had no degree. Could she go back to studying? How would she cope without the band? Her safety net? These past weeks had been strange, but she had always expected to be going back. She hadn’t expected it to be over yet. Although, the relief she felt at knowing the decision was out of her hands was definitely there too. But she was Angel of Angel and the Fallen. She had been that person for a decade now. Who would she be from hereon in?

Her heart rate picked up and her breathing shallowed. She leaned on the railing for support as a wave of dizziness washed over her. Oh, God, what was happening? She squeezed the railing, the metal cold to the touch, but her grip weakened. She realised she had forgotten to take her medication in her rush to get out of the house. Fear gripped her. This feeling was new and terrifying. She tried to turn to walk back to the car where she had left her phone, but her legs were heavy and she couldn’t make them move, try as she might.

Angelia grasped at her throat as her heart pounded so hard against her ribs, she feared it might burst through her skin. Stars danced before her eyes and her legs gave way beneath her. She tried to grip the railing again, but her fingers wouldn’t bend. She fought for breath as tears welled in her eyes. This can’t be it, she thought as she glanced hurriedly around herself. The sun was making its way above the horizon, but it was still so early. No one was around yet. Her legs gave way completely and she crumpled to the floor as her breathing became more erratic and difficult. Her eyes fluttered closed as she realised there was nothing she could do.

‘Hey, hey, you’re okay. An ambulance is on the way. Just stay with me,’ an urgent male voice said as a gentle hand stroked her hair. She fought against the heaviness in her eyelids and gazed up into a familiar brown gaze.

‘F… F…’ She tried to say Ferris’s name, but he shook his head.

‘Don’t try to speak. Just relax, okay? You’re going to be fine. They won’t be long.’

‘Cry…’ She tried to speak again, ignoring his instruction. ‘Cry…’ She pointed to her chest.

‘Christ?’ he asked. ‘You want me to pray with you?’

‘Sis…’ she managed.

His eyes widened. ‘Oh! Myasthenic crisis?’ he asked with a strain of panic to his voice.

Knowing he understood but also wondering how, she closed her eyes just as she heard the siren in the distance.

Two hours later, Angelia walked out of the A&E department at Broadford Hospital to a quiet waiting room.

‘Hey!’ came a voice from the direction of the entrance. It was Ferris. As he walked towards her, she noticed his face was pale and his hair a little dishevelled. He was wearing jogging pants and a long-sleeved base layer kind of top. ‘I followed the ambulance in my car. I wanted to make sure you were okay. There was talk of airlifting you to Raigmore, but I see they haven’t needed to do that.’

Angelia glanced down at her feet. ‘No, thankfully. I feel like such an idiot.’

His brow crumpled and he shook his head. ‘Why?’

‘It wasn’t a myasthenic crisis. It was… it was a panic attack.’

His shoulders seemed to relax. ‘Thank the Lord for that,’ he said with a smile. ‘They mentioned ventilators and induced comas and…’ He grappled her into a hug. ‘Thank goodness it wasn’t a crisis.’ As if realising his action may have been unwanted, he stepped back and his face flushed an almost fluorescent shade of pink as he reached to scratch the back of his neck. ‘Oh, heck, I’m so sorry.’ His eyes were filled with anxiety. ‘I’m just so relieved. I’ve no nails left. Been sitting here worrying myself sick.’ His eyes widened and he held up his hands. ‘Not that I’m belittling a panic attack, of course. They can be horrendously frightening. I just…’ He cringed as his words trailed off.

She smiled. ‘It’s okay, really. Thank you for being here and for waiting. And I’m sorry to have scared you like that.’

‘No apology needed. Come on, I’ll give you a lift back if you like.’

She nodded and followed him out to the car park. His car was an old Volvo in metallic green. He unlocked it and opened the passenger door and she climbed in.

Ferris started the engine and before he set off, he turned to look at her. ‘Are you sure you’re okay?’

She nodded. ‘I am thanks to you.’

He smiled. ‘I know you won’t see it this way but… I think I was meant to find you today. I usually go out for my run much later, but I woke up at stupid o’clock and couldn’t get back to sleep so I decided to go earlier. Under normal circumstances, I wouldn’t have been there.’

Angelia smiled. ‘Well, for whatever reason, I’m glad you were.’

He smiled. ‘Me too. Now, where am I taking you?’

She sighed. ‘Back to my folks in Portree if that’s okay? Meghan is driving my mum down to collect her car, so I don’t need to do that. But I’m in trouble, that’s for sure.’

He cringed. ‘Ah, so you’ve called them. I wasn’t sure if I should’ve done that, or if the hospital would do it.’