Page 55 of Happiness Under a Summer Skye

After they had walked the full length of the long beach and back again, they eventually returned to the van where Ed set about preparing a platter of crackers and cheese, pâté and French bread, and poured two rather large glasses of his favourite red wine. He flicked through his Spotify account and chose a mellow, chilled-out playlist by Zero 7 and they ate mostly in companionable silence, only commenting on how delicious the food was when they did speak.

‘Do you want to know the real reason Ava broke up with me?’ Ed asked out of the blue as he dried the last of the dishes Angelia had washed, and placed it in the overhead cupboard.

She looked up at him. ‘Only if you want to tell me,’ she replied.

He picked up his wine glass and sat on the sofa, so she followed suit and sat beside him, ready to listen.

He stared into the ruby-red liquid for a few moments, silent with his thoughts. ‘It’s silly really. But she found a heart-shaped photo in my wallet and realised I was in love… am in love with someone else.’

Angelia’s heart sank a little. So, he was in love with Fiona all this time, as she had suspected. Was he about to confess it? She steeled herself. Even after all these years, Ed’s smile still made her heart flip but she couldn’t let that show. What good would it do? And anyway, she was an expert at heartbreak.

She chose to pre-empt him, selfishly to soften the blow to herself. ‘Look, I think I already know who you mean. And I’m so sorry, Ed. Unrequited love is horrendous. I’ve been there so I know.’

His eyes widened and he opened his mouth to speak but frowned and closed it again. He swallowed and blinked rapidly. ‘You do?’ He closed his eyes and exhaled. ‘Of course you do. And it’s okay. I just thought I should tell you. Get it out there, you know?’

She reached out and squeezed his arm, sadness knotting her stomach, but she wasn’t sure who she pitied more, him for loving Fiona when she was with Marcus, or herself for loving him. ‘How long have you felt this way? I’m guessing it’s quite a long time.’

His eyes seemed glassy in the low light. He smiled but it disappeared quickly. ‘Since uni. Since my first day at uni to be exact. I saw you and Fiona walking through the campus, before I met either of you and… that was it.’ He shrugged as if defeated. ‘I made it my mission to bump into you both on that night out during freshers’ week. And I suppose, seeing as we’re being honest, I should own up and tell you I acted a lot more drunk than I actually was. I thought it’d be disarming. It gave me the perfect excuse to hang out with you both and to get to know you. Does that make me a total shit?’

Angelia smiled as she thought about the lyrics to Taylor Swift’s ‘Mastermind’. ‘Not at all,’ she replied. ‘Cunning maybe, but not a total shit.’

He laughed and swiped at tears that had escaped from his eyes. ‘God, look at me. What a wuss. Don’t go telling Fee, will you? I’ll never live it down that I cried like a baby.’

She rested her head on his shoulder. ‘I won’t breathe a word. I’ve suspected it for a long time, to be honest.’

He stiffened. ‘You have? And you never said anything?’

She lifted her chin to find him staring down at her. ‘What could I say? I couldn’t do anything to help.’

He shook his head as deep sadness took over his expression. ‘No, I suppose not. I just wish…’ He shook his head. ‘I just wish things were different.’ His chin trembled and her heart ached for him.

She had never seen him like this. She’d never listened to him pour his heart out. But then again, she was kind of glad about that because she’d had feelings for him for so long that hearing him declare his love for someone else would have been awful, just like hearing Josh talk about Nancy had once been, in fact. Yes, she realised, by falling for Josh she had inadvertently replaced one unrequited love for another, and that said a lot about her really. Perhaps she was terrified of loving someone who actually loved her back because that hurt was something she could control even less.

‘Welcome to the club,’ she said with no little sadness to her tone as Zero 7’s ‘Somersault’ played in the background.

23

The conversation ended as quickly as it had begun as they finished the bottle of wine and once they had both been to the shower block they laid out the two sleeping bags as Scrappy curled up in a ball in his makeshift bed on the floor. They hadn’t spoken much since their heart to heart and Angelia felt bad that she couldn’t do, or say, more to help her friend. In the night she found herself reaching for his hand when he was asleep and thinking about what could’ve been if things had, indeed, been different.

The following days of their trip seemed to go back to normal, and they chatted and laughed as they walked. She remembered how much she loved spending time with him, how easy he was to be around, and realised how grateful she was to have him in her life, even if it wasn’t perhaps the relationship she had once hoped she’d have with him. She could certainly pick them, she thought; the arty, handsome types whose hearts were always elsewhere.

The Fairy Pools were just as she remembered. Beautiful, but busy, with what felt like a million other tourists. The attraction was unsurprising. The waters were so clean and clear that light caused colours to reflect deep down on the submerged rocks, creating a blueish hue which appeared magical and otherworldly. Some pools were skirted by waterfalls that would have been at home in the Brazilian rainforests.

On this occasion the weather was doing its best to prove just how Scottish it was as the heavens remained open and the sun barely came out for the whole time they were there. This wasn’t such bad thing, however, because it meant her hood remained up and she, incognito. And, of course, midges didn’t much care for the rain.

Scrappy was yet again having the best time. They’d had to keep him away from the smaller pools as he had already tried to jump in and the smell of wet dog wasn’t something they wanted to leave in the hired campervan. At one point Angelia almost came a cropper on a slippery rock and was en route to landing headfirst in one of the larger pools, she squealed as it all seemed to happen in slow motion but at the last moment Ed rescued her from a fate worse than soggy clothes and yanked her back into his chest. My hero, she thought with a smile as she gazed up into his verdant eyes. He returned her smile and helped her back onto a steady footing.

They reminisced about university and about Angelia’s auditions for Scotland Rocks and shared stories from their more recent trips around the world until it was time to head back.

‘Thank you for not hating me,’ Ed said as they drove the winding roads towards Portree on Friday morning.

Angelia turned in her seat. ‘I could never hate you, Ed. Don’t ever think that I could. It’s been so good to really catch up and spend time together.’

He smiled but there was a tinge of sadness visible in his features again. ‘It has.’

‘Okay, we’re doing this a little differently to the versions you may have heard. We’re starting with the chorus rather than the first verse. It’s more impactful that way,’ Angelia informed the choir. ‘Isla and Morag, you sopranos come in on four, and sing solo for the first four lines and then everyone else comes in all together on the last line of the chorus. We hold the word “need” for four beats, and then my baritones, you take the first verse. Sound good?’ A rumble of agreement travelled the church.

Isla put up her hand like a nervous schoolgirl. ‘I… I’m sorry but I don’t know if I’m good enough to start this off, though, Angelia dearie,’ she said, a worried crease furrowing her brow. ‘I think Mick Jagger will be rolling in his grave when he hears it.’ She shook her head.