Page 12 of It Was Always You

She shook her head. ‘Oh, no, not at all. No, I think it’s sweet that you have such a good relationship. It’s just that I had to ask. I didn’t want to be stepping on her toes.’

Adam smirked. He supposed things must appear strange to others, two heterosexual best friends of the opposite sex; it wasn’t that common. ‘Well, yes, it must look a bit odd.’

She stepped a little closer. ‘No, you don’t understand. I had to check.’

She was so close, he could smell the intoxicating, sensual rose fragrance she wore, and he closed his eyes briefly as he breathed her scent deep into his lungs. ‘Check what?’ he whispered.

‘Check if you were an item… because if you were, I wouldn’t have done this.’ Placing her hands on his chest, she reached up and kissed him gently on the lips. He inhaled sharply and stepped closer, his hands moving up her arms and into her hair. Her lips were soft and warm, and she made a little contented sound that just about melted his heart. Her hands gripped the lapels of his suede jacket.

When the kiss came to its natural end, Adam fluttered his eyelids open and looked down at the beautiful girl in front of him. She smiled up at him in return.

He blew out a puff of air and it clouded between them. ‘Wow.’

Eve giggled at his reaction and then her face became serious. ‘Oh heck, look, I don’t go throwing myself at men. That’s the first time I’ve ever done anything like that. I don’t want you to think I’m⁠—’

He stopped her mouth with another heart-melting kiss. When he opened his eyes this time, he rested his forehead on hers. ‘I think nothing of the sort. I think that’s the best first kiss I’ve ever experienced in my life.’ He brushed his thumbs gently over her cheeks. ‘Please say you’ll let me see you again.’ His voice was a whisper.

‘I’d love to see you again. I was hoping you’d ask.’

TRACK 5

‘YOU CAN’T ALWAYS GET WHAT YOU WANT’ (THE ROLLING STONES)

Elliot kept a firm hold on Lily’s hand as he pulled her through the writhing bodies in the dimly lit house. Her heart pounded in her chest as they stepped over and around people. As she glanced around the unfamiliar surroundings, she gulped. Couples were making out in full view of everyone else. And although she was no prude, their explicit actions shocked Lily to the core. The room smelled of cheap beer and other things that she didn’t wish to acknowledge.

Elliot had informed her that his friend, Jacko, was holding the party at the house he shared with several others, none of whom were students, and she wondered how on earth Elliot knew them. Apparently, the parties were notorious for their raucous music and free-flowing alcohol. She shivered with a combination of excitement and fear.

She was being rebellious.

If Adam could go out and find someone, so could she. And Elliot was gorgeous, in a scruffy, rugged way just like her famous crush. His shaggy hair fell onto his face showcasing features not exactly like Paolo Nutini but close enough that she could fantasise when he kissed her. And when he did crush his lips to hers, she felt a rush of heat to places as yet untouched by men. He made her feel good, but that’s as far as this went. It was purely a physical attraction.

Eventually, they made their way through to a kitchen where a stocky, tattooed man greeted them.

‘Elliot, my man!’ Jacko said in what sounded like a Glaswegian accent as he slapped him on the back. Then he set his eyes on Lily and his eyebrows raised. ‘Who’s your friend?’

‘Jacko, this is Lily. She’s my… erm… girlfriend. Hot, isn’t she?’ Elliot possessively squeezed her into him and kissed the top of her head. She felt a little strange about the juxtaposition of his actions and what was really happening. They hadn’t known each other that long and hadn’t discussed being boyfriend and girlfriend.

Jacko gave Elliot a strange, crumpled frown that almost told her he had read her mind and agreed with her. He stretched out a tattooed arm on which it was hard to find a patch of untouched skin and shook her hand. ‘It’s a pleasure, Lily. Any friend of Elliot’s is a friend of mine.’

She shook his hand in return. ‘Likewise, Jacko. Busy place you’ve got here.’ She laughed as she was jostled forward by beer-hungry folks, who were all clambering for the keg, which sat upon the kitchen countertop.

‘Certainly is. My parties are always popular. Can’t think why.’ He laughed as he handed out plastic cups filled with what smelled like cheap ale or home brew. Lily liked Jacko immediately. His warm eyes made her feel at ease, and his ink fascinated her. She would one day have a tattoo, she decided.

Elliot led her, beer in hand, through to a lounge lit with low-wattage lamps covered in red scarves, which gave the room a strange, seedy glow. The swirly orange and brown carpet and Formica furnishings reminded her of seventies sitcoms she had watched reruns of. There were bodies all over the place just like the rest of the house. She sipped the beer and winced. Eugh! Not going to be drinking much of that stuff.

Elliot turned to her and took her beer. He placed it with his own on the ugly teak 1970s sideboard that was situated just inside the room. The Rolling Stones’ ‘You Can’t Always Get What You Want’ boomed out over the sound system, and she tried not to agree with the sentiment as images of Adam and Eve kissing assaulted her frontal cortex. Not breaking eye contact, Elliot leaned and kissed her. At first the kiss was gentle, but as she fought with the torturous slideshow created by her imagination, she grabbed for him to deepen the kiss. She needed to think of something else. Anything else. He eagerly reciprocated, gripping her hair roughly in his large hands.

Leaning into her ear, he spoke huskily. ‘Want to come upstairs?’

She thought that maybe she did. But in the back of her mind, she also thought that perhaps her first time shouldn’t be in a house packed full of other people unabashedly doing the same thing. In addition to this was the little voice in her head, a voice that sounded rather like Adam, telling her this shouldn’t be happening with someone she wasn’t entirely sure about. She crumpled her brow and thought on it before peering up into Elliot’s eyes.

He leaned into her again. ‘Look, I’m not going to pressure you or anything… I just… I really fancy you, that’s all. You’ve got an amazing body and…’ He cringed. ‘Look, I know you’re not that kind of girl. And I’m not actually that kind of guy either. You’d only be my third… or fourth… or… erm…’ He shook his head. ‘I just think we could have fun, you know?’ He stroked her cheek with the back of his hand, an unusually tender action that didn’t correlate with what he was suggesting. His eyes were unmistakeably hooded with lust.

It wasn’t the most romantic thing she’d ever heard, and she tried to ignore the fact that he wasn’t sure how many women he’d slept with before, but knowing that he was attracted to her spiked something akin to spite within her. She was tired of saving herself for someone who clearly didn’t feel the same. And no doubt Adam and his new girlfriend would end up in bed together very soon. And okay, these weren’t the best reasons, but they were what she had at that precise moment.

She pulled him down for another deep kiss and her mind was made up. What did virginity mean these days anyway? It’s not like it was the forties and she’d be cast out for having sex out of wedlock. She was under no illusions that this was anything more than lust and feeling that way made things a little easier. She knew her heart was safe.

Well, maybe safe wasn’t the word because actually her heart was in a million pieces already thanks to the small matter of her unrequited love.