Page 75 of Red

I nod, then wait until he’s gone before reading again. A few more tears fall.

Chapter 23

The next two weeks breeze by, between me learning about the legend retellings and crying at Scarlett’s diary. She was from a pack to the northwest of here. If I could go back in time to talk to Scarlett, I would have so many questions.

1914 October 3rd

We found a small cabin Father says is safe. Half a roof. Enough to keep the rain off. I know I can’t ever have the life I wanted. It is better if I am alone. Turning eases the burning. But I still think of him. Every night, I think of him.

And that was the last entry she wrote.

Did she find a way to cool the burning without turning? Did she eventually find someone she could tell outside her family?

I never would’ve expected being special meant feeling so lonely.

Stark is in and out each day I’ve woken to him in the chair each morning. I’m not sure how Nikki feels about this, but she also thinks I’ve been immobilized. Stark and I came up with the plan for me to keep my back fully covered for the next few weeks, so no one gets suspicious.

I open the door, and voices flood into the hallway. It’s the first dinner I’ve joined since the night of last month’s full moon. The next is a few nights away and I will have to get rid of Stark, which, seems impossible with his current occupation of my room.

“We are all so happy you’re okay,” Lirea says, taking my hands. “I was so scared.”

“I knew you’d figure out a way to get blood on this floor again,” says Jocko, wrapping me in a hug.

“Jocko, her back,” Lirea warns.

Right. I give a small wince then squeeze him back. “Don’t worry, I’m good now. Catch me up.” I drop away from Jocko and Lirea steps between us.

“Well, Jocko managed to get a second graze wound. And we have two in beds from related injuries.” Lirea says. Jocko shrugs like it’s not a big deal. “Is the rumor right? You went there?”

“Um, yeah. I will tell you about it later.”

“I want more than the debrief details,” Lirea leans in closer.

“Deal. Now let’s go eat.”

The table is filled with familiar faces, a few of whom smile at me genuinely for the first time ever. I guess getting lashes by the Elders gives you a bit of credit.

Otis and Graden are here, but I avoid their gazes as I sit in the middle, creating as much distance from them as I can get. They did nothing to protect me, if I was human like they thought, I’d be lucky to be sitting here after all that blood loss.

Stark glances at me from down the table and scrunches his eyebrows, then looks at the empty chair beside him. Nikki sits across from him, and I look at her, like, pay attention to your mate. He doesn’t seem to get it though, glaring at me instead.

Jocko sits next to me and Lirea across the table, leaving a few seats empty. Steaks are stacked on the plates in the center, but I stick to my salad and wish we could all have a drink to relax. If the Elders weren’t here, I might suggest it.

“Nice to have you back,” Otis says from the end of the table.

My fork drops and clangs onto the floor. I slide my chair back to retrieve it.

“You good?” Jocko asks, bending over.

“Totally.” Not.

Dinner keeps on for way too long and I stir the remaining lettuce on my plate. I have that same feeling I did when Tripp told me to pull the trigger—a true confliction of anger and anxiety. I’m furious at the Elder’s reaction yet all of it has to be for something, and tonight I’ll get to share what I learned. Finally, a few start clearing plates, and I hand mine off. I’m sure no one will comment if I don’t help.

“Anyone who cares about our current war with the humans is welcome to join us in the forum after dinner,” Stark announces to the room.

A few nod, while some ask questions, but Stark’s glare is enough to shut them up.

I get up and go grab my phone. This is the right decision.