Page 94 of Red

I knock my feet together. “I told him to go back to dinner, not leave.”

“Why would you tell him that?” Kiya looks at me.

“Darwin, he, um, he’s the one who shredded my back.” I rub the invisible scars, leaving out part about the council attacking Stark. “Stark was being protective . . . but I’m not his to protect.”

Jocko leans forward with his forearms on his knees. “Aloka, why would you say that?”

“It’s not like Stark and I are even friends. I know you two heard him at the lake. The Elders are already mad at him, so he didn’t need to make things worse by hovering.” Imagine if Darwin decided to add more punishments. My mom warned me the Elders would try to force me to turn by pressing burning metal to my skin. With all the stories I now believe to be true, what they did to us is only the beginning of their methods.

“Even if that’s why he left, there’s something wrong.” Kiya palms her neck.

“Maybe he’s just upset he’s not with Nikki?” They say mated pairs struggle to be away from each other, the bond so strong that it’s like they leave part of their soul behind each time and can’t get it back until they’re united.

“Why Nikki?” Kiya asks, her face confused.

I make the same expression. “His mate? You must miss Mitus.”

Jocko bursts out laughing, and Kiya shoves him from her chair. “Don’t be mean. Nikki means well.”

“Does she?” he asks.

“Can someone explain to me what is going on?”

They both look at each other, and Jocko laughs again. I’m not grasping what is so funny about missing a partner.

“Just because we don’t know what it’s like doesn’t mean we should laugh at what others go through.” I let the frustration edge into my voice.

“That’s not it.” Jocko holds in a laugh as he composes himself, taking a big breath and relaxing his face.

Kiya rubs her eyes. “Nikki and Stark aren’t mates. Nikki refuses to believe it and thinks she can force it, but Stark’s never been interested. She never gets any of his hints.”

“Hints? He told her to give up how many times now?” Jocko says.

“Wait.” I stand and pace at the edge of the damp-logged firepit. “You mean Stark is not mated? Like not just unofficially? Nikki and Stark are not together?”

“No. Why would you think he was?” Kiya says.

“She said they were.” I grind my hands into each other.

Kiya shakes her head, and an exhausted look forms on it. “Nikki has been saying that since we were teenagers. The only one who believes it is Lirea, and that’s because they’re best friends, so she has a bit of a blind eye to her.”

“So they’ve never been together?” My hands sweat, and I rub them onto my shirt.

Jocko stands and puts a hand on each of my arms. “Aloka, I’m going to simplify this for you.”

I roll my eyes.

“Stark has never been with Nikki. He is not mated to anyone.”

“I, um—” I break from his grip and start running. I don’t know where to go.

“Where are you going?” Kiya calls.

“I’ll be back,” I yell.

My feet slip in the damp moss, and I run harder, letting the magic that grew during Darwin’s visit flood through me. There are muddy prints that go in every direction. I try to remember where the road was when we come in and change course. He wouldn’t run to the road.

I run and run, then stop and listen. Water runs in the distance, and I head for it. I let my pace pick up, absorbing into the fire and using it. I can’t turn, so I do my best to be fast as I am.