Page 105 of A Thief Among Fae

I have to help him. I levitate my knives from the floor⁠—

Strong hands grip my neck. The fomorian lifts me off the ground, the spear shaft sliding against my torso as she squeezes with relentless strength.

I try to gasp, but there’s no air. I kick her and claw at her fingers. I don’t need to see her eyes to know all I’d find there is a cold, merciless desire to kill.

I shouldn’t have looked away. I shouldn’t have lost focus.

My throat throbs, and my head feels too light. Every thought and regret scatters as my vision blurs. All except for one.

Evie stands in a field of flowers, twirling her skirt to the rhythm of birdsong. She laughs, then extends her hand to me. She’s young, still soft and ruddy-cheeked. Fantasies dance in her merry eyes, dreams of waltzing in the royal court with Prince Ronan, his ruby signet ring on her delicate finger. Soon, she’ll let those wishes drift away like lost seeds on the wind, lamenting that they were the foolish daydreams of a foolish girl. She’ll find solace in the rhythm of clucking hens and scraping rakes, constancy in torn soles and hollow pockets, and love for a toiling life that will wear her as thin as the socks she mends.

I have failed her. I have failed the child in her.

My knees hit the ground with a jolt of pain. I gasp; the breath burns through my lungs. Above me, Desmond releases the fomorian. She pales as she scratches at the dark handprint around her throat, as if trying to scrub the pain away.

Desmond yanks off her helmet. His sword slices through her neck.

I flinch as her head lands beside me. He kicks it away, and I look up at him in a coalescence of awe and shame, catching an emotion in his hazel eyes that has me blink in shock.

Rage.

“Gashil is gone,” Finnian says from across the room. “He shoved the archery cabinet aside and scrambled off through the secret tunnel. I tried to go after him, but I can’t crawl with this giant gash through my hand.” He pauses, and his voice cracks as he says, “We lost a good man today.”

My mouth tastes like bile as I look at the utter carnage of the training room. The headless body of the female fomorian. Nikolai with a pool of blood seeping around him. I’ve never felt so angry. He was kind, earnest, and he was my friend. Gashil has ripped a loving father away from his family. His girls will grow up never seeing his smile again.

I will make him pay, I vow in a hoarse whisper only meant for myself.

Min shudders as Finnian touches her shoulder. Her pained roar rings in my ears.

“I’m sorry!” Finnian yelps. “I just want to help. I don’t know what to do.” He buries his face in her fur and says, almost too low to hear, “I can’t lose you, Min.”

“She’ll be alright,” I try to assure him, but no more than a hiss comes out of my bruised throat.

It finally hits me, and a hot tear streaks down my cheek.

I lost the fight. I’m exactly what I feared I was.

Weak.

“Are you alright?” Desmond asks me. His offered hand is blistered pink and white, burned from the fomorian’s iron helmet.

“I’m—” I blink at the unmasked fury across his face as his gaze snags on the throbbing handprints around my neck. His emotions batter me in a relentless wave, so much darkness that I struggle to find myself within it. “I’m fine,” I grit out.

His hand still waits for me to take it, but I hesitate. It was humiliating enough when he had to force-feed me salt, then bandage my back because I couldn’t defend myself on the heist. A web of shame and resentment twists inside me. This time, he saved my life.

I should be grateful, but all I feel is shame.

He fought Gashil and isn’t winded. I couldn’t stop even one fomorian on my own. My parents were right. I was born with the wrong Gift.

Desmond’s face clouds with worry, and he drops his hand to his side.

“Dez, is everyone else okay?” Finnian asks him.

“Auri’s fine. We took out five in the foyer.”

I push myself to my feet. Of course they did. Auri is a lightning-wielder and Desmond’s an Elite. They could’ve survived a dozen.

“Maeve? Rune? And Nog?” Finnian asks. “We could really use Maeve right now, if she’s alright.”