Page 39 of Business vs. Pleasure

He had people. He was loved and couldn’t deny that anymore.

So what happened if coming out of retirement meant all of those people had their hearts broken?

What happened if he lost August?

And even before they’d come out of retirement, someone had been sneaking onto their Maltese property, which meant they might’ve already been in danger. It could’ve just been some idiot trying to rob them or something, but it could’ve been someone after one or both of them. God knew they’d made enough enemies.

Fucking hell. This really had been a mistake.

He sipped his coffee to wet his suddenly dry mouth. To Paschal, he said, “We’ll stay safe.”

He didn’t know if he was lying or not, and that bothered him more than it would have a few years ago.

Paschal didn’t argue with him. Ricardo had no idea of he believed him, but he didn’t argue, and a moment later, he was shuffling back inside to get some sleep after his long shift.

And Ricardo sat out there alone, his coffee cold and the pool area silent except for the quiet slosh of water against the sides.

What the hell was he supposed to do when Heidi called?

“Wait, so now you want to quit again?” August stared at Ricardo from where he sat against the headboard. “Dude, is this some perimenopause mood swing or something?”

“Peri—what?” Ricardo rolled his eyes. “Shut up.”

August laughed, but it didn’t last. He swung his feet over the side of the bed and gingerly rose. “Okay, but seriously—what’s with the back and forth? You wanted this. Now you don’t. I…” He threw up his hands, concern written all over his face. “Look, if you’re not happy with me, just fucking say so and⁠—”

“What?” Ricardo shook his head and put his hands on August’s shoulders. “What makes you think I’m not happy with you?”

August chewed his lip. “I mean, I thought we were happy. And then you suddenly decide…” His shoulders sagged beneath Ricardo’s hands. “You told me back in Malta you were just restless and wanted to get back to being what you’ve always been. But now we’re doing that, and you’re still not happy. What gives?”

Ricardo sighed, and he reeled August in close. “I don’t know what I want. Why I can’t get used to just being retired.” Stroking his husband’s hair, he added, “But there’s no question about wanting to be with you.”

“But you’re not happy.”

“I’m not…” Ricardo closed his eyes and exhaled. “I told you before—I don’t know how to be someone who isn’t a soldier or an assassin.” He loosened his embrace and met August’s gaze. “Maybe that’s just something I need to learn to live with. It was just… It was harder than I thought it would be.”

At that, August relaxed a little. “Yeah, it’s not easy. But it isn’t like we can do this forever.”

Ricardo nodded. “I know. Maybe we just need to figure out what we’re doing instead.”

“Maybe.” August’s lips quirked, a hint of mischief gleaming in his eyes. “Maybe it’s just easier for me because I didn’t do it for as long. You know, since I was still in diapers when you enlisted.”

Ricardo rolled his eyes and shoved August back. Gently—not enough to make him stumble on his tender feet—but enough to make him cackle.

“What?” August laughed. “I’m just saying, you’re more set in your ways. But I’ve heard that with time and patience, it is possible to teach an old dog new tricks.”

Ricardo pinched the bridge of his nose. “August. Shut up.”

More cackling. Because of course.

August may have had a point, too. Ricardo had almost seventeen years on him. By the time August came into existence, Ricardo had numerous burglaries and petty thefts under his belt, not to mention quite a few that would’ve been felony grand larceny if he’d ever been caught. While Ricardo was a Green Beret, August was going through the traumatic years of being kidnapped, not to mention losing his brother. Though they’d both come into the hired gun world at roughly the same time, Ricardo had already been a sniper and a soldier for years.

Most of Ricardo’s life had involved the kinds of things that gave good, model citizens the vapors. Maybe he needed to give himself more time to adapt to the quiet, law-abiding life instead of bailing at the first whiff of boredom.

He was telling August as much when the shriek of his phone stopped him mid-sentence.

August’s eyes widened. “That’s Heidi, isn’t it?”

Ricardo nodded, pulling the phone from his pocket. “Yeah. It is.” He looked at his husband. “I can ignore her. We can go back to Malta and put all this behind us.”