Page 38 of The Earl’s Inconvenient Nemesis

Alice realised she had stopped breathing. She took in a breath as she tilted her head up instinctively and her lips met Anthony’s.

The shock of that first kiss meant Alice’s legs almost gave way beneath her, but Anthony was there to catch her. He pulled her closer to him and the kiss became deeper. Alice groaned as he slipped his tongue into her mouth and her hands were in his hair as she felt him reach up and cup her face gently. All thoughts other than this kiss were erased from her mind. “Anthony,” she breathed into his mouth, completely lost in the moment.

Suddenly he stiffened and gently but firmly pushed her away. “Alice . . . we never . . . I apologise.”

What was going on?

“It is quite all right,” said Alice. She took a step towards him, but he moved further away.

“It is not. I allowed the moment to overcome me. I should not have. I am here in your brother’s place, as your guardian, to protect you from men like me.”

“I do not want protecting from you,” Alice whispered, her heart racing.

Anthony shook his head, looking utterly tormented. “I think it best I do not attend the ball tonight. I will leave a message for your aunt.” His voice cracked slightly. “I am sorry.”

He turned and left the room before she could respond, leaving Alice standing alone, her lips still tingling.

Anthony paced his bedroom, furious with himself. What had he been thinking? That was exactly the problem, he had not been thinking. He had promised Henry he would look after her. Protect her. Instead, he had allowed his self control to dissolve completely. He had finally managed to convince Alice he was not the terrible person she had been so certain he was, and then he went and molested her. Proving that he was just the sort of man she had believed him to be: a pleasure seeker, with no self-restraint, who preyed on innocent young women. Come to think of it, she probably had not imagined he could be that bad. At least he hoped she had not. Well, she certainly would now.

He had not been able to resist though. After having her dislike him for so long and then finally being able to get in her good favour, seeing her look up at him with such trust in her beautiful eyes . . . It had been his undoing. And now he had destroyed everything between them that he had worked so hard to build up over the past weeks.

And not just that: it terrified him how close he had been to ruining her and destroying her life. It had taken all his willpower to pull himself away from her supple, yielding body. Thank God he had.

It was not just Alice’s and his own futures that would have been affected. His life was closely entwined with Sarah and Charlie’s. He loved his half-brother deeply, yet Charlie’s existence put a stain on his family’s name. Anthony would always make sure Charlie was provided for, but he also had to protect his mother, even after her death. She had done nothing to deserve the scandal of his father’s past leaking out. If Charlie’s existence became known, Anthony had decided he would claim him as his son, to save his mother the embarrassment of not only a philandering husband, but one who would throw the mother of his child out on the street. There was no way in the world he could offer for Alice knowing that there was a very real chance he and his family would be shunned by society. He could never ask Alice to share in that burden, nor could he condemn her to a life of whispers and social ostracism.

He would marry Sarah, and soon now there was nothing holding him back since his mother had passed away, establishing her in his London house which he was making perfect for her and Charlie, while he himself would stay on the estate he loved, and make Charlie his heir. He did not care what society thought. He would do right by Charlie.

The only woman he wanted was Alice anyway, and he could not have her. The only honourable path was to stifle his own feelings and help her find a worthy husband, someone unburdened who could love her openly as she deserved. He would make his own list of suitable candidates and steer her towards someone he believed she would be happy with. Even if the thought of another man touching her made his blood boil.

He had thought, foolishly, that friendship might be enough. That proximity might satisfy the ache in his chest. But after that kiss, he knew the truth: staying close to Alice Fairfax was becoming more dangerous with every passing day. And yet, no matter how hard he tried, he could not seem to stay away.

Chapter Fifteen

Alice allowed Beth to dress her for the ball. She moved through the preparations in a complete daze, her fingers repeatedly drifting up to her swollen lips as she replayed the moment in the library again and again. What had she done to make Anthony stop so abruptly? Had she kissed him wrongly? It had felt wonderful to her, so wonderful that virtue itself had seemed a small price to pay. Did such kisses feel that way for everyone? If so, she did not know how married couples managed to accomplish anything else at all.

Perhaps it had not felt the same for him. Or perhaps he was so accustomed to kissing young women that he had done it without thinking, only to remember the ramifications should Henry ever find out.

Whatever the reason, she felt both hurt and humiliated. She had lowered her guard with him, allowed herself to become distracted from her true purpose. She was in London to find a husband and save her family, not to lose her head over her brother’s best friend.

Duchess wandered over and rubbed against her leg. Alice smiled despite herself, earning a frown from Beth.

“Could we at least keep that cat out of your dressing room so that you do not get your dresses covered in her fur before you have even had the opportunity to wear them?” the maid grumbled.

Even Alice had to concede that was probably a sensible idea. She gently shooed a very indignant Duchess out.

“Are you feeling quite well, miss?” Beth asked. “You are very quiet today.”

“I am in fine health, thank you,” Alice replied. “Just a little homesick.”

“That is understandable,” said Beth, guiding Alice over to sit down at the dressing table so she could do her hair.

“Do you miss home?” Alice asked.

“A little,” admitted Beth. “Coming to London is certainly an adventure, but I will be happy to return to Kent.”

Alice nodded her agreement. She missed her home terribly. It was an ache which only dulled when she was out riding with Anthony, or maybe when she was with Anthony at all . . . Oh, for goodness’ sake! She was being ridiculous. She needed to focus on finding a husband so she could get back to her family where she belonged and lick her wounds in peace until her wedding. Anthony would still live on the neighbouring estate, but that was infinitely preferable to sharing a house with him here. With any luck, her future husband would live somewhere she need never encounter Lord Tonbridge again.

She studied her reflection in the mirror. It was time to forget about Anthony. He did not want her, even if he had turned out to be far less of a rake than she had once believed. She must concentrate on securing a good match as quickly as possible.