Page 40 of This Reckless Home

“It’s everything. The money is just money. But your love is what’s kept him going, knowing that you will always be there for him.”

He looks up at me, eyes red and swollen. And the devastation in them kills me. “You don’t understand.” His voice is raw. “I’m supposed to be enough. I’m his big brother for fucks’ sake, I should be able to⁠—”

“You are enough.” I will him to believe me. “And I do understand. I understand feeling like you’re never enough. Just like I understand having the person who’s meant to love you, just… not.”

Something in him seems to snap, and his hands move from around me to tangle in my hair, tugging my face down to his, his lips slamming onto mine.

I can taste the salt of his sadness, his kiss a desperate question and promise all in one go. It’s nothing like Steele’s or Nox’s. It’s commanding, but also safe, like he steals my breath but gives me his own all at once.

I melt into him, a small sound of utter bliss leaving my lips only to be captured by his. He takes it, shoulders it like he does everything else. But he also gives back, a deep manly groan filling my mouth as his tongue meets my own.

My hands clench in his damp t-shirt, pulling him closer, needing him to know that he is enough. That he is everything, and not just to Justin.

We break apart only when the need for oxygen becomes too great, gasping, our foreheads pressed together, eyes closed. His hands are still in my hair, though he loosens his grip, his fingers stroking.

“I have nothing to give you.” His whispered confession shatters my heart. He still doesn’t see.

“I don’t need things, Anatole.” I pull back slightly, so I can look into those beautiful blue eyes of his. “I’ve got more things than I know what to do with. I don’t want any more.”

His chest stills. “What do you need? Want?” He’s barely breathing.

“I need someone to stay. Someone who won’t leave when things get hard.” I watch as something shifts in him, the tension draining from his body.

His eyes close. “I’m not going anywhere, Bloom.”

Hope flares bright and hot in my chest, desperate.

Then his body tenses up again, his eyes flying open, wide and panicked as he pulls back. Just slightly. Just enough.

“We… we were supposed to get on our feet. Find a place. Take Jus⁠—”

I can feel the entire world come crashing down around me. The birds are no longer singing around us. And the hope inside me dies.

“R-right,” I reply stiffly, taking my hands off his chest because it suddenly hurts to have them there. “Of course, that’s the plan.”

His face pales, his hands trying to tighten in my hair but I get to my feet before he can. “Bloom⁠—”

I’m backing away, needing to get out of here before the tears that are threatening to fall, do. I force a smile that feels like it’s cracking my face apart.

Stupid, stupid Blossom.

“No, it’s okay.” Step. “You should.” Step. “You’re his brother.” Step. “You should all be together.” Step. “A family.”

“But—” He half rises but I fling my hand out and he stops, hovering. "Bloom, that's not—I don't want⁠—"

“I should go. Kids need⁠—”

I don’t even finish my sentence, just spin and rush away, tears making it hard to see exactly where I’m going but I don’t care. As long as he doesn’t see me fall apart. Doesn’t see how hurt I am. How stupid I feel.

So I run.

Like a coward.

Before he can see me cry. Before he can take back the kiss that’s still burning on my lips. Before I can beg him to stay even though I know I shouldn’t.

He has to do what he feels is right for Justin. For him. For them.

Even if it breaks my heart.