Page 41 of This Reckless Home

“WAR OF HEARTS (ACOUSTIC)” BY RUELLE

ANATOLE

She’s gone before I can stop her, before I can explain that I don’t want her to leave. That I don’t want to leave. That I want us, all of us, to stay with her.

I can still taste her on my lips, still drunk on her cherry blossom scent. The ghost of her hands tangled in my shirt makes my pulse race. Makes me wish I’d kept my big fucking mouth shut and just kept kissing her like I was drowning and she was the only fucking thing keeping me afloat.

Because she was. She is.

And the hurt that flashed in those beautiful eyes of hers, the pain when I just threw everything back in her face… fuck. That hurts more than anything ever has. More than any beating my mother gave me. Hurts worse than all the years I went hungry so Jus could eat.

I sit there, on the bench, until the sun goes down, missing family dinner but I just can’t face her. I certainly can’t eat with this guilt swirling in my gut.

Eventually, once darkness has fallen, I sigh, lifting myself off the seat. I feel like I’ve aged a hundred years as I slowly make my way to the pool house, mind spinning with just how badly I fucked up.

I walk in to find Nox and Steele sitting on the couch, both pausing, then eyes widening as they take me in.

“What the fuck happened?”

They speak at the exact same time, the exact same words, and I’d laugh if I didn’t still feel the burn of tears in my throat.

“I fucked up.” My voice is rough. I swallow. “I fucked up so bad.”

CHAPTER FOURTEEN

“WILL I MAKE IT OUT ALIVE” BY TOMMEE PROFITT, JESSIE EARLY

STEELE

“Ifucked up so bad.”

Ant’s words ring in my ears, and a million shitty scenarios fly through my mind.

“What happened?” Nox immediately questions, and Ant comes further into the room, taking a seat in the armchair across from us.

He takes a heaving breath. “I kissed her.”

There’s a beat of silence.

“And?” I ask carefully, knowing that if it was just that, he wouldn’t be freaking out so damn much.

He runs his hands through his hair, which is chaos and unlike the normal controlled style he usually has. “And she kissed me back.” He blows out a hard breath. “Then I fucked it up by mentioning us leaving.”

I inhale sharply, wanting to rip him a new fucking one but knowing that won’t help.

“Shit.” Nox huffs, his jaw tight and tension cords his neck. “When I kissed her I managed not to fuck things up. Who knew I was suddenly the responsible one.”

Ant’s head snaps up, eyes narrowed. “You kissed her? When?”

“Sunday, after Family Day.” Nox sighs. “Best fucking kiss of my life.”

“Yeah,” Ant agrees, eyes going a little faraway. Then he turns them on me, and it’s hard to hold my smile in. “And you…”

“Made sweet passionate love to her delectable pussy all night Saturday,” I tell him smugly, and his right eye twitches. “And I too, managed not to fuck it up.”

Nox barks out a laugh, and Ant flips him off.

“It’s not funny. I hurt her, fuck⁠—”