Page 16 of Riding Bare

The doctor smiles and shakes my hand, then starts to ask Chassis how she’s feeling while she washes her hands and slides her gloves on. I watch for a moment, not sure what is going to happen with said gloves.

Chassis lies down, lifting her shirt slightly, and I watch as the doctor measures her stomach with a little measuring tape thing, says some number I don’t pay attention to, and feels around her belly and shit. What she’s feeling for, I have no goddamn clue.

Then the doctor smiles and helps Chassis sit up. She peels off the gloves, claps her hands together, and her gaze flicks from Chassis to me, then back to Chassis again.

“Okay, let’s head to the ultrasound room. This is an exciting day.”

CHAPTER

TWELVE

DARE

We walk into a tiny room with just enough space for Chassis, me, the doctor, and a nurse. A new nurse walks into the room. There are several machines with monitors, and I take a seat on one of the chairs, leaning forward slightly as I rest my elbows against my knees. Tipping my chin, I look down at the floor, at my boots, and somehow become mesmerized by the scuff marks there.

I don’t know what to feel right now. I’m not really someone who does well with uncertainty. I’m usually the one in charge of everything, but I can’t be in charge of this, not of any part of it, which makes me feel uneasy and unsure.

Being unsure is so much of a fucking liability in my world. It’s not even funny. A few moments later, a sound fills the room. It’s a quick thumping sound. I don’t really know what’s happening right now, but the doctor tells me to look up.

And I do.

There, in an orangey glow, is something on the screen that I can’t quite comprehend. And then the doctor begins to speak. She explains what everything is before switching to black and white, and then she switches places with the nurse, who begins to move the mouse around the screen.

“I’m taking measurements,” the nurse explains.

“Then I’ll look at everything,” the doctor announces.

This all seems like a lot, but what the fuck do I know? Not a goddamn thing. I didn’t even know what organs were inside Chassis’s body, apparently, judging by the posters and diagrams and shit in the other room.

“Measurements?” I ask, my throat dry as fuck.

She’s clicking away as if it’s no big deal. She sees it every single day, all day long, but holy fucking shit, I’m looking at a baby. The baby that is inside her body right now.

Holy fucking shit.

This is real.

I’m not sure how long we’re in the room or how long I stare at the screen, but then the nurse turns her head, and her eyes land on me, then on Chassis before she looks back to me. I don’t know if I should be concerned by her expression, but slowly, her lips curve up into a grin before she speaks.

“Would you like to know what you’re having?” the nurse asks.

I tear my gaze away from the screen and look over to Chassis. Her eyes meet mine, and for a moment, the entire fucking world melts away. There is just her and me in this room, nobody else.

“It’s completely up to you,” I say, breaking the silence.

I know it’s up to her. I’m not giving her any sort of permission. Everything about the two of us, about our lives and marriage, is up to her. I know I’ve been keeping my distance from her, but it’s what’s best.

She didn’t choose me, and I didn’t choose her. Although, for me at least, it’s not a hardship having this absolutely stunning young woman at my side. I would imagine she could do a hell of a lot better than an old man like me.

“Let’s find out, Amos,” she whispers, and fucking hell, you know what? When she says my name like that… I’ll do just about anything.

“Let’s find out, Skel.”

Her lips curve up into a grin, and both of us shift our attention back to the screen. The woman clicks a few more things, then she turns her head again, this time her eyes focusing on Chassis.

“Congrats, Mama, it’s a boy.”

My stomach drops.