Page 24 of Broken Souls

“W-what?” I stutter.

I feel a frown come onto my face. Why is he telling me to go? Didn't he like the kiss? What's he thinking? Was it a mistake? He's still on top of me.

“I'm losing control. Go before I mate you.”

I can hear the shaky breathing through his words. He is still big and hard and pressed against me, way too close to my underwear region. I look up into his unreadable eyes. Axe doesn't get off me so I manage to slip out from under him. I leave the room and go up to mine. My lips feel warm, my chest feels warm, between my legs feels warm. Going to the bathroom, I look into the mirror and see a rosiness cover my cheeks, my eyes are wide and bright. I've never seen myself like this. I’ve never felt like this. I turn on the tap, cupping my hands under the water and splashing my face. Axe kissed me. I need to know what that means. Is he just lonely? Dashiell's words keeping coming back to me. What surprises me is I felt at ease even though I had a wild alpha on top of me.

I hear a shower running somewhere in the house. Does he feel as flushed as I do? I sit on my bed, trying to think of what to do. Nothing can possibly happen with me and the alpha, can it? I said I was leaving the werewolf world yet somehow I'm slam down in the middle of it; living with an alpha who may I say... wants me? Should I stay to figure out what it means? I feel this is my only chance to escape if I want to, before I fall any deeper into this.

I always thought Axe was a good man. He respects me, he cares for me, he protects me. I've seen him as an older, wiser person who understands just how broken I am, like he is. I could even say he's my hero. But I never thought of him as a potential partner. He is pushing thirty, whereas I just turned eighteen. The age difference doesn't bother me. I'm just stunned into a state of bewilderment and curiosity. Yet I'm also in a state of comfortableness. Now after this kiss, I don't know how I feel about him. To say I'm not attracted to him would be a lie. Even though I felt his feverish need and his strength through the kiss, I liked it. I thought my first kiss would be soft and slow but it was fierce and hot.

Meeting Axe, he was my alpha and protector. Staying with him, he was my roommate and became my friend. And now, after the kiss, I don't know what to call him. I don't mind the way our relationship has progressed. But the timeframe is scaring me. He's becoming more familiar and closer to me in a short time.

I wish I could talk to someone about this but I don't have anyone. Amelia is a human so I can't dive into details with her. But then I think of who already knows about this. Dashiell. I mind link him and tell him to come over. I've only ever mind linked my father since no one else in the pack talks to me. I go downstairs and wait; not long since he gets here almost immediately.

“Are you okay, Elora?” Dashiell asks, clearly thrown off by me asking him here.

He sits down on the other couch. I listen out for the shower so we can speak in private. Axe is still showering.

“Yeah, I just need some advice.”

“Okay.”

“Axe and I kissed,” I reveal to him.

“Shit.” His eyes go wide and he sits right back in the chair. He links his hands together then leans closer, staring intently at me. “What do you want advice on?”

“I don't know if Axe is just lonely or it meant something to him. You know him better than anyone,” I say.

“Elora, he's attached to you,” Dashiell speaks factually.

“How... why?” I can't actually believe that someone would want me. My mate didn't even want me.

“I don't know why he is, but he is. He hasn't been with a girl since his mate, not dating, not sex, not even kissed.”

“Oh.” I start twiddling my fingers nervously.

“Do you like him?” Dashiell asks a loaded question.

“He... I... I know I could,” I stammer for an answer.

“He deserves to be happy, Elora. So do you. I know you're mateless just like he is.” Dashiell's eyes shine with sympathy.

“He told you?” I ask.

“Told me? He was so pissed that he found me this morning for us to brawl. He needed to let his anger out and I'm the only one that could match his strength.”

“You fought?” I ask, concerned.

“No.” He chuckles. “It's training. We used to roughhouse each other all the time. I was surprised when he came to me since he always trains alone now.”

“Have you noticed a change in him since I've been here?” I dare to ask.

“Yes,” he answers without hesitation.

“I... I can't be with him. Bad things will happen.”

I look down, all the bad possibilities of us running through my mind. The bad always seems to outweigh the good.