Page 107 of Not Until I Found You

She looks down at her lap, giving Sven’s head another scratch. “I honestly don’t know. I feel guilty even thinking about putting distance between me and her, especially since she’s the only person who’s never left me.”

“I’m sure she’ll understand,” I tell her, desperate to put a Band-Aid on the cracks I hear in her voice.

“Yeah.” Her face relaxes. “It’ll be a tough conversation, but I have faith it’ll all work out for the best.”

I reach over to cup her face, my thumb stroking her soft skin there, in a silent promise to her that it will all be okay. It has to be.

“Can I say something?” she asks.

I nod.

“I’m not like Lily.”

My whole body freezes at her words. Why would she say that? What does she see written in my face that I don’t know about.

“I’m not going to leave you like she did. I promise,” she adds reassuringly.

I scratch roughly at the back of my head and clear my throat. “I know you wouldn’t do that to me.”

“I don’t think you do,” she says as she reaches over and places a hand on my cheek. “And it’s okay that you don’t. You’ve spent years protecting yourself from that kind of hurt. And now, here you are, choosing me anyway, even though it scares you. I promise I’ll always take care of your heart.”

Her words are enough to vanquish my fears for the time being. Shrinking it into something that’s more manageable. How does she do that? Heal parts of my brokenness that I thought were beyond repair? Everything inside me lightens, like a fog lifting in the sunshine after a heavy rain.

“Thank you,” I say as I tuck another piece of hair behind her ear. “I promise to take care of your heart too.”

We’re quiet for a moment. Maxinne’s fingers tighten around mine, her gaze searching my face, and I hope she finds whatever it is she’s looking for. My eyes drift over my oversized t-shirt she’s wearing, and the way her braid falls around her shoulders, and lands on the soft smile tugging at her lips.

Her gaze drops briefly to my mouth before returning to my eyes, causing my pulse to slow and stumble all at once, like my body doesn’t quite know what to do around her. It never has. She inches closer, and I find myself doing the same. The rain still taps against the windows, and Sven snores somewhere across the room, but all of it fades into the background.

“Zane,” she whispers.

I brush my thumb across her cheek, and the look she gives me unravels whatever restraint I have left. Our breaths stutter at the same time as I duck my head to press a kiss to the tip of her nose and the curve of her cheek. From the kitchen, a toasty scent curls into the room.

“I think the pizza’s done,” she says faintly, though she doesn’t move away.

“Let it burn,” I growl and crash my lips against hers.

This kiss is heated and bruising. Hands against skin, bodies fusing together, the heat burning hot like we’ve lit a match against a pile of timber, and instead of stopping it, we let any resolve go up in flames. She sighs against my mouth as I press her against the cushion of the sofa, and I kiss her harder, until we’re both gasping.

I want her. The realization lands with enough force to steal what little sense I have left. I want every ordinary Tuesday, every dinner around the table, every prayer before bed. Every wrinkle we’ll earn together fifty years from now.

Which is exactly why I have to stop. Maxinne and I haven’t talked about physical boundaries yet, and I refuse to let this moment outrun the foundation we’re building. She trusted me with her heart. I won’t risk that because I couldn’t master my own.

Reluctantly, I loosen my grip on her hips and press my palms into the couch cushions instead, putting just enough space between us to remember how to breathe. My mouth lingers at the curve of her neck, brushing softly along her collarbone—not kissing this time, simply committing the moment to memory, until I pull away.

“I’m sorry,” I breathe, exhaling loudly, running a hand down the scruff on my chin. “I, uh… I want to take things slow with you. Do things right. If that’s okay with you?”

“Of course. I want that too.”

“I should get the pizza.” I jump up from the couch quickly, rushing into the kitchen, and remove the pizza from the oven. Thankfully, it’s not burnt, but the cheese has a nice brown tint to it. “I think it’s edible.”

She’s still sitting on the couch, blinking away the last of the burning embers. She finally stands up and makes her way into the kitchen, eyeing the pizza before grabbing us plates. As her hands move to get a slice, I place my fingers around her wrist. I press a lingering kiss to her forehead before forcing myself to pull back and redirect my attention to the food, because if I don’t, I won’t stop kissing her.

I plate our slices of pizza and grab her a grape-flavored Olipop from the fridge. We curl up on the couch, her feet tucked beneath her, my arm settling easily around her shoulders. When I hit play on an episode of The Chosen, the glow from the screen fills the room, but it fades into the background compared to the warmth of her pressed against my side.

And this is how the night ends. Just the two of us, wrapped up in each other’s arms, like this is where we were always meant to be.

Chapter Twenty-Six