Page 124 of Not Until I Found You

Chapter Thirty

Maxinne

The bedroom I grew up in has never felt this small before. There are open duffel bags covering my bed, half-folded clothes spilling out in uneven piles, while late-evening sunlight stretches across the hardwood floor in golden stripes. Somewhere down the hall, Mom is watching a TV show, and the familiar sounds of home wrap around me in a way that should feel comforting.

Instead, everything inside me keeps pulling back toward Covewood. To where I left Zane.

I pause halfway through zipping my bag and stare down at the orientation packet lying across my comforter. Westbridge University is printed boldly across the front in deep-green lettering. I’ve wanted this for so long, the chance to finish what I started, and to have the opportunity to build the future I kept placing on hold.

My dream feels clearer now more than it ever has before. Somewhere between heartbreak and healing, I’ve finally figured out what I want my future to look like. Me wearing a cap and gown on graduation day, my family and friends all there to support me, and then, shortly after, I want to open up my very own shop in Covewood.

Amongst all of that is an image of Zane, holding my hand the entire way—Sven trotting along beside him, of course. Thinking of Zane has me reaching for my phone. It lights up, and for a split second, I assume it’s him, but then the name settles in as I read Derek on the screen. It doesn’t make sense at first, my brain refusing to comprehend what I’m seeing.

The room seems to pull away from me, the sound thinning out until all I can hear is the faint buzz of the phone vibrating against my palm. I don’t even realize I’m sitting down on the edge of the bed until the mattress dips beneath me. The phone keeps buzzing, and I think about letting it go to voicemail.

Until my finger moves before I can talk myself out of it.

“Hello?” I say, my words sounding more like a question as I press the phone to my ear.

There’s a beat of silence then Derek says cautiously, “Maxinne?”

“Derek?”

“I didn’t think you’d answer.”

“I almost didn’t,” I admit, forcing my voice to stay even. “Why are you calling me?”

There’s another pause, and I can hear the background noise on his end, the sounds of a life continuing somewhere that I’m no longer a part of.

“I…wanted to call you.” He exhales. “Because I owe you an apology.”

My grip tightens on the phone. An apology is not what I expected. Especially not after the accusations he made of me cheating on him and the months of silence that followed.

“I took down the posts,” he adds quickly, like he’s afraid I’ll hang up before he gets it all out. “All of them. The ones saying you cheated. I shouldn’t have put that out there. It wasn’t fair to you.”

My stomach twists slowly, and I place a hand there. Three months ago, I would have given anything to hear him say this. But now, being on the other side of everything I’ve had to rebuild without it, I find that the words still matter—just differently than I expected them to. They don’t change what happened, but I stopped needing his apology to heal.

His voice sounds genuinely sorry, and I believe that he means it. “You shouldn’t have lied like that.”

“I know. I was angry and worried about what my bosses were going to think about my fiancée leaving me,” he continues. “And I handled it badly. That doesn’t make it right. It just…is what it is.”

I close my eyes for a second, letting the words settle between us before I finally ask, “What are you expecting from this conversation?”

“Nothing,” he replies before clearing his throat. “I just needed you to hear how sorry I am. For everything it’s been eating me up inside.”

I let out a slow breath. “I appreciate you saying that. And Derek—” I pause, surprising myself a little with what I want to say next. “I forgive you. Our issues weren’t only your fault, so I should say I’m sorry too.”

The silence on the other end stretches long enough that I wonder if he’s still there. I look at the screen and see the seconds ticking by.

Then he says, “That means more than you know. Thanks, Maxinne. Take care of yourself.”

“You too, Derek.”

The line goes silent. I sit with it for a moment, waiting for the ache that used to follow his name around, but it doesn’t come. The only thing that’s there is release. I lower the phone onto the bed beside me and sit there for a moment, palms resting loosely in my lap as I wait for my body to catch up with what just happened.

It’s strange, what clarity feels like when it finally arrives. I’ve spent so many months treating my future like a problem to be solved alone. As if loving Zane and choosing my own life were two competing things pulling in opposite directions. But the truth settles into place.

Loving Zane and choosing my future are not two separate things.