Page 37 of Not Until I Found You

The little bell over the door jingles, and a wave of cool air hits us, greeting us with the crisp scent of leather. Rows of neatly organized shelves hold everything from shiny lures and spools of fishing line to stacks of flannel shirts and boots. A wall of canoes, paddles, and life jackets lean near the back. A bulletin board hangs near the door, its surface crowded with fishing photos, local business flyers, and hand-scribbled notices for community events.

This store is one of my favorite places in Covewood. It carries a sense of nostalgia that instantly reminds me of my Pops, who used to come in here at least twice a week. His passion for the outdoors has rubbed off on me, as I find myself here just as often.

I point toward our left. “Boots are over here.”

Twenty minutes later, we’ve picked out a pair of sturdy leather hiking boots, a couple pairs of moisture-wicking socks, and a lightweight pack big enough to hold water, a first aid kit, a flashlight, and snacks without feeling like she’s carrying too much. It’s much better than the old, tattered backpack she was planning to use.

“This should be fine for today. I’ve got a few other things at the house you can borrow.” I hoist the pack onto her shoulders.

“Thanks. I didn’t realize I needed so much for a short hike,” Maxinne replies, adjusting the strap.

“Anything can happen out there, and it’s always better to be prepared.” I smirk at her. “Besides, I’d hate for you to come back looking like you wrestled a bear or something.”

She shoots me a mock glare. “Have you ever wrestled a bear while on a hike?”

“I might look that tough, but absolutely not.”

We share a laugh and make our way to the front of the store when a voice cuts through the low hum of chatter and stops me cold in my tracks.

“Zane?”

It’s achingly familiar, like a song I haven’t heard in years but still know every word to. My heart thuds hard against my ribs as I turn slowly to see Lily standing behind me. For a moment, all I can do is stare. She’s a few feet away, studying me with the same blue eyes I used to think I’d spend forever staring into. Her blonde hair is cropped short now, and my gaze drops to where her hand is resting on a rounded belly, a thin gold band catching the fluorescent light.

My stomach twists and sours. Six years melts away in an instant, and suddenly, I’m twenty-one again, sitting at MJ’s Diner with a velvet box burning a hole in my pocket, rehearsing the words over and over again that I never got to say. It was the same day she chose to end things between us. The day she stared me dead in the eyes and said she had ’different plans.’ Ones that didn’t include me.

Here she is now, at the only outdoors store in Covewood, of all places. Her eyes widen in surprise as she takes me in, and I wonder what I might look like to her. Does she see the twenty-six-year-old man I’ve become or the boy she left behind?

A part of me wants to smooth my shirt, stand taller, say something easy and casual, but my throat is closing in on itself. It’s ridiculous that, after all this time, one look from her can strip me down to my rawest form. I still picture us at seventeen, sitting on the tailgate of my truck, making plans for a future that never happened. Now, she’s standing here, glowing with new life, and I’m wondering if she can tell mine’s been on pause since she walked away.

“Lily?” my voice comes out rough. “Wh—what are you doing here?”

She smiles softly, one hand still on her pregnant belly. “We’re here visiting. My dad’s birthday is tomorrow, so I was trying to find him a gift.”

We’re. She doesn’t have to say it. The ring and pregnant belly say it all. So why does that word still punch me in the gut? It’s been years, so of course she’s moved on. But I haven’t. My life can be measured in the spaces she left behind, in the careful distance I’ve kept from anyone else. While she’s built a family, a future, a whole new life, I’m still here, trapped in the past I can’t seem to shake.

A dull ache takes over my chest, as if old wounds have been ripped open. This is the woman who taught me how it felt to love someone so deeply I built my entire life around her, only for that life to crumble because of her choices.

Before anything else can be said, a tall, clean-cut man with dark hair and light-blue eyes appears next to Lily. He’s holding a shiny new Yeti cooler, smiling proudly down at her.

“Found it,” he announces cheerfully before his eyes land on me. His smile brightens, and he holds out a hand for me to shake. “Hi, I’m Philip, Lily’s husband.”

I must be having an out-of-body experience, as if my soul is standing next to me, watching me reach out and shake this man’s hand, my mouth opening, but no words are escaping.

Lily jumps in before the silence can stretch. “This is Zane, an old friend of mine from high school.” Her eyes look somewhere behind me, gesturing toward someone. “And I’m sorry, I’m not sure we’ve met?”

The mention of Maxinne jolts me back into the present. She’s standing right beside me, her expression somewhere between confusion and sympathy. I’ve been so lost in the past that I forgot she was even here.

“I’m her ex, actually,” I say, my voice clipped, even though I was aiming for neutral. “Come on, Max, let’s get your things.”

I don’t wait for a reply. I turn, walking fast as my pulse hammers in my ears. Behind me, I hear Maxinne mumble a soft apology before hurrying to catch up.

Their voices fade into the background as I try to steady my breathing and fix my eyes on the counter. My pulse is still loud in my ears as I take the pack from Maxinne wordlessly and set it down on the counter. My hands shake as I pull out my debit card and slide it across the counter before she can protest.

“You don’t have to—” she starts.

“Let me cover the gear. Consider it a welcome-to-Covewood gift.”

Maxinne waves me off. “I can cover it, Zane. I⁠—”