Page 69 of Not Until I Found You

Me

My mom.

Zane

That checks out.

Is that the only reason why you got the satellite internet installed?

A thoughtful smile curves my lips as I contemplate what to say. Do I tell him the truth? That part of the reason for the internet install was so I could text with him while we’re away from each other? That even with us living next door to each other, I can’t seem to get enough?

Me

What other reason should I have?

Zane

I’m offended you didn’t do it because you missed ME specifically.

Me

Now, I didn’t say that.

Zane

Uh-huh.

Me

I may have checked to see if you’ve texted a time or two.

Zane

May have?

Me

Don’t get cocky.

Zane

Too late. I’ll ride this confidence boost all week

Me

You’re welcome. Try not to let it go to your head.

Zane

No promises.

By the way, we’re getting off work at a decent hour today.

Want to go to church with me this evening?

I pause, my thumb hovering over the screen. I can’t remember the last time I walked into a church without feeling like I needed to brace myself first. I used to love it once. Before the judgment and the pressure to be better, holier, made it feel less welcoming. After that, I started to wonder if there was even a church for someone like me.

Since meeting Zane, though, I’ve had the urge to give church another chance, especially if these people are anything like him. My gaze drops back to his message. There’s nothing performative about Zane’s faith, nor is there pressure or expectations from him. He talks about God the way I talk about a garden—like it’s something you tend to every day. I’ve admired that about him. I think some part of me has been waiting to meet someone whose faith made room for me instead of measuring me against it.