Page 28 of Down Bad

Not sure if it’s because of his sparkling eyes or mentioning the car or using the word “love” four times in a row.

Then he smiles—wish he’d quit doing that—and heads off, done watering, I guess. My head’s already back under the hood before I even hear his front door shut.

Good thing, because I was sick of seeing him in that cute outfit looking at me the way he was doing.

Like I’m some fragile thing that’ll break.

Or is already broken.

Pretending he knows the first thing.

Talking about my dad’s car.

I lose the battle and glance over my shoulder at his house. He isn’t in the kitchen. Probably changing or showering or whatever. Not that I’m imagining him doing either of those things.

Changing.

Showering.

What is it with that guy and his huge windows? His curtains swept out of the way all the time. Opened. Letting the whole world in. Giving the street a show of what he’s doing any time of day or night. Does he care at all about someone looking in on his private business? Is that really how trusting he is?

By Monday morning, the orchid’s got itself a new home on the corner of the counter, still within reach of the sun, just not being baked in it. Decided I’ve watered it enough, needs to dry out.

We get home from work at the same time. I sense him about to start up a conversation from his car, so I head inside before he can get out a word.

Like I said, nice guys, always trying to enslave people around them with their smiles and baskets and parties. Making them owe conversations and friendliness and opened windows for the rest of time. Not me, buddy, no matter how many orchids’ lives you save.

But the next day at work, I spot one of my coworkers, Carl, all rough around the edges, no social game at all, break out laughing when a customer thanks him profusely after a routine oil change. I don’t know why, but suddenly I’m thinking of Wyatt at his own job letting that asshole walk all over him with a smile.

I think I’m just now realizing Wyatt has different smiles.

Different nices.

Is it a different smile he uses with me?

A different nice?

Why?

“He just misses his son,” Joel tells me when I’m checking our inventory. I didn’t ask. I don’t know why he’s talking to me. “Carl. Well, his stepson, actually. The kid moved away with his boyfriend after his dad died and left him a house on the beach. Crazy story. Doubt my own pops’ll have anything to leave me or his grandsons when he goes. Not that I’m wantin’ him to go. But y’know, a pack a day does not keep the doctor away. Keep tellin’ him to cut back but y’know how stubborn dads can be. You close with yours?”

My whole mind must be occupied thinking of Wyatt, trying to figure out what’s different about the smiles he gives me, because I actually answer him: “Was.”

Which makes Joel go, “Oh, shit. I’m sorry, man. Is he no longer with us?”

Our moment’s over. “Running low on antifreeze,” I say before heading to the back, boots scuffing through the dust and tire grit.

He doesn’t bother me the rest of the day.

Doesn’t mean I stay unbothered.

I’m bothered every second Wyatt lives in my mind. And that’s every damned second of the day. It doesn’t seem to matter when I get home because Wyatt’s always there a second later or a second before. Always in the front flowerbed, tending to it. Always about to wave at me. Smile at me. Ask me how my day went.

Why can’t people just leave me alone?

Why can’t I get any damned rest?

My tía isn’t here to see her flowerbed anymore. Who cares if I mowed over it? The next owner will probably just rip it up same as I did and plop some boring bushes in their place. No one will know or miss a bunch of weeds, no matter how colorful.