Page 65 of Down Bad

“You can’t fight her off. Literally impossible.”

“She can try.”

“She will win.”

“No, she won’t.”

I chuckle and nudge him in the ribcage—again, he overreacts, startled, this time shooting me a look—and I decide to redirect the focus. “I haven’t seen them yet, but we might encounter the guys I usually have over for my movie nights.”

“Okay.”

“Just in case you change your mind and come to one.”

“Uh-huh.”

“I used to have them every week. Then stopped. Then started up again a year ago. Then didn’t have one for months and months. Just recently felt inspired again, and …” I turn to him. “Do you just hate having fun or something?”

He lowers his glass, turning fully to me, too.

The glower on his face slowly softens.

He takes a breath.

“Just … a bit …” He closes his eyes, his drink lowering even more. “… a bit overwhelmed.”

I instantly know how difficult that was for him to admit.

And I’m about to say something encouraging back when a face pops up between us from out of nowhere: Lance’s. “What’re you doing all the way over here? Chad and I snagged ourselves a table up in the front. Saved you a seat.”

“Oh, thanks! But …” I nod at my side. “Got two?”

Lance turns his eyes onto Diego. It takes him a second to see a human being, I think, and not a runway model ready to leap onto the stage wearing one of his designs. “Good God,” is all he says.

We both hear.

I don’t think he meant us to.

“This is Diego,” I introduce him. “Lottie and Marcos’s nephew. He’s living in their house ‘til it’s sold. Diego, this is Lance.”

“Who’s Lottie and—oh, your neighbors. Former neighbors. I’m an asshole, I forgot.” Lance smiles at Diego. “Nice to meet you, and we absolutely can make a second spot. We’ll just steal a chair from someone else’s table and squeeze it right in.”

I grimace. “You know Cissy and her seating charts …” I start.

“And you know me and my tendency to not give a fuck.” That earns a snort from Diego, which Lance notices, then smirks as he goes on: “Ethan was with us, but left to be with his cousin Turtle and the others from Gary’s ranch—Hoyt and Harrison, too. Boo. It’s their loss. Our table is so much closer to the front. There might be something up with that Ethan. He’s … extra clingy lately. Tried to talk us into letting him stay on our ranch for a few days. Do you know anything I don’t? Never mind. Are y’all coming or not? I’m bringing Chad back a beer. He’s cranky.”

I glance at Diego, asking him with my eyes.

Diego returns an uncertain glance of his own.

And then we’re following Lance through the crowd and down the winding aisles of tables. Diego, even when following me, stays so close, it’s like wearing a backpack. I have to stop now and then for someone to pass in front of me, and Diego presses into my back each time, giving me the sensation of being in his arms.

Wrapped like a blanket with my back against his chest.

His face by my neck. Breath on me.

And just a turn of my head one way, and there he is, gazing at me with those intense eyes, not daring to let me out of his sight.

I’ve never felt like someone’s source of strength before.