Page 16 of Tracked By Sasquatch

“Please. You’re right, sweetness. No one gets to say what you went through but you. I’m sorry. I’m letting some past experiences color my perception and you don’t deserve that.”

She allowed him to pull her around the table to stand between his knees. Both their hands interlaced. “Thank you for sharing. It means a lot that you trust me and I won’t let you down.”

Something in his tone and his expression said he spoke of so much more than what she’d told him.

He was studying their hands.

“Go on… if you want to.”

Devin had to put up a wall there. While she’d dealt with the guilt of sleeping with a man like that by choice, she had not dealt with the guilt of leaving when she did, the way she did.

Alone.

Like a coward, she’d taken the way out offered by the Bastards in Omaha and left without a backward glance. She’d had her reasons, which she thought were valid at the time. However, as the days and weeks passed, she realized how wrong she’d been and no matter what, she would rectify the situation.

“That’s pretty much it.” All she could bring herself to share anyway. The sad smile he gave her had her adding. “I think it might be good for me to visit home and just kinda close that chapter of my life, you know?”

His eyebrows shot up at her words. Fuck, why had she told him that? The knowing look in his slightly inebriated but still far too intelligent gaze told her that last sentence would come back to bite her in the ass.

Devin couldn’t stop the self-sabotage even when she wanted to.

“Devin.”

It felt like he was staring into her soul, she had to look away.

Squatch stood. “Look at me.” Gently he gripped her chin with his thumb and forefinger, turning her back to look at him. “When you go, take me with you.”

Not if, but when. He knew. He knew she would go back. Devin was a shit liar, so instead of words, she gave a non-committal sort of nod.

“I mean it, Dev. I want to slay your demons.”

Six words that caused her breath to hitch.

Not because he was the only one willing, hell, her brother and the whole of his club were itching to do just that. Not because they wanted to, but because it was expected. They took care of family, and she was family.

Squatch said he wanted to.

Although she’d known Squatch for years, she’d not looked at him as anything other than her brother’s brother except that first year Lucas had been with the club. As soon as he became Croon and laid down the law, she put on the platonic glasses. But right there in a dive bar on the outskirts of town, she was falling for the big guy. All those schoolgirl crush feelings she’d harbored for him back in the day were back with a vengeance.

She couldn’t handle it, not now. Every emotion in her body felt raw. Too raw, she couldn’t deal with it. Maybe later, maybe never, hell, she was confused and overloaded.

“I can slay my own demons, fuck you very much.” She hoped her sharp words would cause him to pull back, but it seemed to have the opposite effect on the big man.

That half smirk and sparkle in his eyes was her weakness. It had been when he’d flirted shamelessly with her when she’d visited Utah right up until the second Lucas had patched in as Croon when he put the kibosh on it. And, as much as she thought that Thom had killed that part of her, Squatch’s look was proving it still lived.

“I know you can, sweetness, I just don’t want you to have to. Call it machismo, call it caveman mentality, call it whatever the fuck you want, but allow me to be your demon slayer. Not because you need one, but because you want one. Don’t carry that if you don’t have to, let me. If you haven’t noticed, I’ve got plenty of room on my shoulders.”

It sounded very much like choose me to her and it felt good. She felt good. For the first time it felt like someone wanted to be her hero and not for a reward or because it was expected.

She wouldn’t taint whatever it was between them by giving him that to carry for her, no matter that he begged. He already carried a lot on his broad shoulders, but she wouldn’t add to that by asking him to sneak off and betray his club.

“Whatever you say, Atlas.” She patted his chest. Not actually saying yes, but her answer seemed to appease him.

“Who let the cheesehead in?” an old voice called with affection. Devin turned around and practically sprinted toward the man using a cane and making his way through the back door.

“Better a cheesehead than someone who has the Super Bowl Shuffle on their daily playlist.” She embraced Ray. “Looking good, old man, how are you feeling?”

“No complaints. This one is holding it all together while I get back on my feet. How are you doing, honey? I haven’t seen you in a few weeks.”