Page 123 of Open To Negotiation

But since I couldn’t do that, I decided it was best to be an ass. Blame it on the crowd, the scotch, my own insecurities and the fact that I still didn’t know if she was safe.

“How do you think,” I grunted out and finished my drink in one shot. I was well on my way to being drunk now, which was really the last thing I needed.

“Sorry, I guess I didn’t need to ask that.” She watched me with a worried look as I signaled for another drink.

“You shouldn’t have wasted your time coming here.” Sober me never would have said that. Well, I would’ve at least been more eloquent. I even told her earlier I was happy she was here, and I was, but my father didn’t deserve her presence. That’s what I should have said.

“You should drink some water,” she said as she shoved her glass in front of me. I was a desperate enough bastard to take it just to have my lips where hers had been. But I didn’t say anything, letting the silence grow between us.

She should have been at work not taking time off to deal with my shit. I wanted her here because breathing was easier when she was around, but I fucked up the right to have her. My ultimate plan was to beg on my knees for her forgiveness, but I knew I might never get it.

Hell, I wasn't even sure I deserved it.

My mind was a fucking mess, going back and forth on what the right thing was. The alcohol clouding my judgement.

“I just thought…” I didn’t look at her, keeping my eyes on the scotch glass in my hand instead. “You know what. It doesn’t matter. I’m sorry.” I don’t even know what she was apologizing for but as I looked up and saw tears in her pretty green eyes, I almost broke and told her everything.

But I couldn’t yet. Because I needed to be certain that even with my father gone, she wouldn’t get wrapped up in the fallout of what her dad had done. I went to reach for her but she turned on her heels and started toward the back door.

Before I could move, I was blocked by Noah and Will.

“You realize that she might not forgive you if you keep acting like this,” Will said gently. I ran a hand through my hair as Noah took the glass out of my hand.

Despite they’re unwavering support in helping me deal with this mess, it had been hard to convince them to keep Quinn unaware. It helped that she wasn’t speaking to them, or at least I thought she wasn’t. They were cagey with information about her, but I devoured any scraps they gave me.

“I’m well aware,” I grumbled and watched as she slipped out to the backyard.

“Do you?” Noah asked. “Because it sure seems like you want to make sure she never comes back to you.” He’d made his anger at me known these last few weeks.

“I know what I’ll lose.” My voice raised, and I took a step toward Noah. “Don’t you dare try and act like I don’t.” The anger that had been fueling me since I left her in bed and walked out was eating at me. I was ready to fight someone, I didn’t care that it was Noah.

Will stepped between us. “Noah, go cool off and then check on Quinn,” he said in his lawyer voice, the calmness of it always irritated me.

“You don’t seem to understand that we’re losing her too. You brought her into the group and now we’re all attached, but she isn’t even fucking talking to us either.” Noah glared at me for another moment before walking away.

I knew they all cared for her like a sister, but I didn’t expect her to shut them out. Just me.

Will turned to face me. “He’s not wrong. You only have to hold on a little while longer. I have my side almost sorted. But she’s hurting. You hurt her today, she was so unsure about coming here. My advice, don’t talk to her again unless you’re level-headed and have had a litre of water.”

“Because hugging her then brushing her off isn’t doing her any good,” Asher added as he came to stand next to Will, likely hearing everything that had been going on.

“It’s killing me,” I said in a rough voice.

“I know. But it’s killing her too. And she doesn’t know the real reason, you do.” I let out a breath and took the water that Will passed me.

They were both right, I couldn’t do this to her again. But what I could do was fix this shit and then grovel. I needed to do it now before it was too late.

36

Quinn

Isat on one of the lawn chairs in the grass looking out over the ocean. It was far enough away from the house that I hoped that no one would find me, at least not right away. I didn’t want to talk to Theo or anyone else, I needed a minute to myself. It was cold out here though with the breeze off the ocean. I should’ve grabbed a jacket, but the cold out here was better than the cold in there.

Theo clearly wasn’t okay. He’d gone from the hug to telling me I shouldn’t have been here. I gave him a pass for the behavior simply because of the situation and the scotch. But I was regretting coming.

Because when I left and walked out, it was going to rip off the scab on skin that hadn’t even healed.

My heart couldn’t take much more and I had to cut it off after this, no more back and forth, no more being in his life. I had to be done.