Page 148 of For Your Consideration

You’re eight months older. Might as well be a lifetime.

Me

I liked you better when you weren’t so upbeat.

It’s disturbing. And annoying.

Knight

I’m on my way. Disarm your security system.

Less than five minutes later I was at my door letting Knight in. He toed off his shoes as he handed me the case of beer he’d brought and then headed into my living room.

He let out a chuckle as he looked around at the toys. My home looked nothing like it did months ago and I wouldn’t have it any other way. I cracked open the beers and handed him one.

“What are you doing here?” I asked as I settled on one of the chairs.

“Quinn said you looked extra stressed when she picked up Thor but that you were hiding it every time Sutton looked at you. She threatened me with no sex if I didn’t come check on you. And she would have followed through.”

“So you’re here so you can have sex with your fiancée?”

“No, jackass, I’m here because I care about you, but Quinn just happened to be the one who noticed that you weren’t doing well.”

“Going sappy on me there, Knight.”

He shot me a look and took a pull from his beer. “How are you handling everything?” It was my turn to send him a look as he nodded. “Come on, Ash, Quinn’s helped me realize that talking things out is important.”

“I’m just stressed.”

“Caring about someone is stressful.”

I rubbed a hand over my head and then pushed up and started pacing. I couldn’t sit still. “It’s like I’m walking around with my heart outside my body. They both have half. And I can try as hard as I can but something could still happen to them. I never expected this. I didn’t think I would ever let someone in like this. I’m not sure how the fuck I’m supposed to handle it.”

“Letting myself love Quinn was the hardest thing I’ve done,” Knight said thoughtfully as he watched me walk back and forth in front of him. “Do you remember what you told me when I almost fucked it up?”

“I’m not going to fuck it up. I’m not going anywhere, but I just don’t know what to do with all these—” I moved my hand in circles over my chest.

“Those are feelings, Ash.” I shot Knight a death glare. He looked way too happy about this. “Do you remember what you told me?”

“To stop being a jackass,” I muttered and when he didn’t reply I let out a sigh and turned to face him.

“You said that she had a light and fire that matched mine, that Quinn matched me perfectly. Watching you with Sutton,” he shook his head with a smile, “it’s like you found the missing piece of yourself. She isn’t fazed by your surliness, although it’s admittedly less around her. She seems to find it charming. You’ve never particularly cared for kids but you haven’t been able to stop caring for Soph since the moment you met her. She is calm and caring. She seems to be exactly what you need.”

“She’s the best thing that’s ever happened to me.”

“I won’t tell Noah you said that,” he chuckled.

“But this anger, Knight.” I shook my head. “I don’t know what to do with it. How it won’t eat me alive.”

“You keep showing up for her, keep being the calm man that has her back.” He stood up and patted me on the shoulder. “And then we do what we need to do. With Quinn’s ex, we had him fired, drove him out of town, and threatened him with financial ruin if he even thought about Quinn again. We take care of our family, Ash. We’ll help you take care of both of them.” Just as he got to the door, he looked back at me. “Jaxson is going to be here early tomorrow so you guys can do a boxing session downstairs before you have to be at court. Don’t need you punching someone out in a courtroom.”

With those parting words, he walked out of my house, leaving me feeling calmer with his words in my head.

I locked up the house and then went to stand in the doorway of my room. Sophie was tucked against Sutton’s side, both of them breathing deeply. I wasn’t sure how long I stood there watching them, knowing that without a doubt, I loved them with every piece of myself.

Shielding them from the world was my job, but I had big enough shoulders to take the weight.

Knight was right—Jaxson got to my place just after six this morning. I slipped out of bed, dragging myself away from Sutton and Sophie, and went to let him in.