Page 97 of For Your Consideration

“Boooo!” Quinn yelled as she threw popcorn at me. “It’s girls’ night. Tell him to leave you alone!”

They both broke into fits of laughter as I shook my head at them. I had gotten Sophie all settled in the nursery for the first time. Asher, being Asher, had stocked it full of PJs, sleep sacks, diapers, and creams, as well as soaps and towels for the bathroom. Everything I needed for her to stay the night was here. I was told I had to take Asher’s room even though there were many other rooms available.

“Hello?” I made my way to his bedroom, stumbling again. “Shit, ouch,” I muttered as I stubbed my toe.

“Sweetheart?” I could tell he was smiling.

I stopped as I noticed the lamps I’d chosen on his bedside tables. That made me really happy.

“Sorry.” I flopped back on his bed. “Stubbed my toe.” His laugh filled my ear as I grabbed his pillow. I loved that everything here smelled like him. It was deeply comforting. “You’re going to get me in trouble.”

He made a noise. “I’m not deviating from our schedule just because you have people over. I wanted to hear your voice. But you can go if you want.”

“I don’t want,” I said quickly before biting my tongue. I heard him chuckle on the other end of the phone as I settled further into his bed. “Did you just finish?”

“Yeah, I’m fucking tired of dinners away from you and Soph.” I bit my lip and smiled into the pillow. “Sweetheart?”

“Yeah, Grizzly?” Before he could say anything else my phone beeped and I pulled it away and saw the Facetime request coming through.

I answered as I sat up a little, placing pillows behind my head and resting against the headboard.

“That’s better,” he sighed as he relaxed in the same way in his hotel room.

“How’s the trip?”

“It’s fine. I’d rather be home.”

I smiled. “Sophie loves her crib here. Did you see the picture I sent?” It was of her cuddled up with the bunny watching her from the side. She couldn’t sleep now unless it was next to her.

“Adorable,” he muttered, a soft look on his face. “Like seeing you in my bed.”

I flushed. “Asher…” I warned as he gave me a small smile. When he started to say stuff like that, it made me want something I wasn’t sure I was ready for.

“Sorry, I’m tired. It slipped out. Normally I keep those thoughts to myself.”

I bit the inside of my cheek and tucked my free hand under my arm.

“Talk to me, Sutton.”

I frowned a little as he sat up in his bed. He could read me scarily well. But with the alcohol and his scent enveloping me, I felt a little braver.

It also helped that he was in a different city, a flight away, safe on the other side of the screen. He was silent as he waited for me to get my thoughts together.

“You like me here…now.”

“Explain.” His tone was demanding as usual. I let out a puff of air. I liked that he waited until he understood my thought process before he gave me his opinion.

“You like having me and my daughter around now. What happens when you get tired of us? When Sophie has a bad day or when I get a little overwhelmed and a little cranky? What happens when you get tired of me wanting to be your friend, what if you get a girlfriend and then I’ll be without you again? I just don’t know how to go back to a time before you were in my life. Calling me, texting me, making me dinner, holding my daughter, holding me, being a shoulder to cry on when I really need it. I’m terrified of how this will all turn out and scared because I still don’t know what I want.”

The last part was a bit of a lie. I knew what I wanted.

Him.

But I didn’t trust it not to be taken away.

“Fucking hell. I wish I was there so I could make you look at me.”

I lifted my eyes from where I had been staring off to the side. It was easier to not pay him any attention as I spat out what was bothering me.