Page 66 of Yours on the Canvas

“I know. I couldn’t stop it. Everything just became too much. My mind goes to a safe place, and I lose complete control over my body. Doctors have said its called anxiety paralysis. My body just stops working. Normally I can’t pull myself out of it.” I kiss him lightly, “But you pulled me out, Sol.”

I shake my head, burying my face into his chest, breathing in his scent. Cedar. Pine and Silas’s musk and heat.

My hand touches his sling and I pull my head back. “Silas.” My voice leaves him no room to dodge my next question. “What happened?” My hand runs up his arm and lands on his shoulder.

He flinches, pulling in a sharp breath. “Careful, boy.”

“What happened, Sol?” My voice is small, filled with an apology and concern.

He sighs and presses a quick kiss to my lips. “Don’t freak out.”

“Silas, say that and I will. Tell me what happened. And please don’t lie to me.”

He laughs softly. “Okay, baby. I was shot, it’s a through and through. It’s not bad, I promise, I’m fine.”

Tears spring to my eyes at the thought of Silas getting hurt.

“Oh, baby.” He pulls me tighter “Do not cry. I’m okay, I promise.”

“Okay.” I sniff. “Silas, can I ask something else?”

“Anything, dove.”

“We have a bigger bed.”

A bark of laughter escapes him and it makes me smile. “Yeah. Eli organised a bigger bed for us. There was no way I was going to sleep in that chair. My frame in that, I would break it. And he used his ‘I a nurse here and I’m very important’ card to get what he wanted.”

I nod, thinking about the man laying next to me, his body all shot up and he’s the one protecting me. Like I’m worth it.

And then it hits me hard.

For so long, I thought love was just another weapon people used to break me, get what they wanted. It was always something sharp and dangerous, and it always came with a price.

But as I lie here wrapped in Silas, I see him clearly now.

This man, this former soldier, a killer, is my Sol, my Dom.

I realise that he is a walking apocalypse to everyone else, but to me, he’s just a soft, heavy weight wrapped entirely around my heart.

And as his arms hold me, and his eyes hold mine; soft and steady, as if I am something precious instead of broken, the realisation finally breaks through the static in my head.

I love him.

And I have loved him long before I even knew how to breathe properly.

16

Silas

The PalMerc doctor had come to see me a few days ago. He had been contacted by the medic who stitched me up. He wasn’t happy that I left so quickly, but he didn’t understand that I needed to get back to Jack.

We might have gotten into a small argument, and I may have threatened him with my gun; he was standing between me and my dove.

What the hell was I supposed to do!

Callan had to step in, grab me in a choke hold, and drag me away while the medic screamed about calling the MP.

Absolute prick.