Page 121 of Home Ice

He groans. “Probably. Can’t go home like this.”

“Yeah, there are some things your dad doesn’t need to know.” I peel myself away from him, but before I can get too far, Barrett grabs my arm.

“Are you forgetting something?”

I frown, wondering if he’s after a kiss or–

“Don’t you want a photo?”

Damn. Yes. Always. I pull out my phone and aim it at him, getting everything from his face to his unbuttoned pants in the frame. He looks beautiful lying in the grass. “These photos are going to be the death of me.”

“Will you look at them when you’re back in St. Louis?”

“Every day.” I stare at the one on the screen. “And not just to jerk off over them either.”

“Come here.” Barrett opens his arms, and I melt into them as he takes my phone from me. “Let’s get a PG one that’s safe around other people.”

We both turn to the phone and smile.

And I swear it’s the happiest I’ve ever looked.

Chapter Forty

TAI

I’m not going to pretend saying goodbye is easy, but when I look back over the summer, I wouldn’t trade it for the world. Hawke is back in my life, Dad is painting, I’m getting my ass to therapy, and it finally feels like that shadow over my life is shifting. I’m still working hard, still worrying over Dad, but knowing that I have people to talk to and a home I can breathe in is making all the difference.

As long as I don’t focus on it being a few months before I see Hawke again.

“Got everything?” I check as he wheels his luggage to the check-in counter.

“Think so.” Hawke glances over at Kasen. “And don’t delete my number.”

Kasen smirks, but it’s more playful than it usually is. He’s been threatening it during the whole drive here, but he’s only trying to get under Hawke’s skin. Which, in teenage talk, is basically an I love you. “Don’t do anything annoying, and I won’t delete it.”

Hawke scoffs. “I’m already banned from using lol. What else is there?”

“The smile or heart hands emoji, getting emotional, and sending more than one text without a reply.”

Hawke laughs and wraps his arm around Kasen’s neck before pulling him in to plant a kiss on his hair. “And you know I plan on doing every single one of those things now, right?”

Kasen shakes his head. “I can’t believe my friends think you’re cool.”

“They have good taste,” I say. As far as I’m concerned, Hawke is the coolest. “Now, show your dad some love, or I’m going to give you extra burpees on the first day back in the gym.”

“It should be illegal for my dad and coach to be boyfriends,” he groans, but he does sling his arms loosely around Hawke. He can pretend to hate the hug Hawke gives him all he likes, but I don’t miss the way he turns away from us both when Hawke releases him.

We wait for Hawke to check his luggage, then move toward security. This moment has been coming all summer, and I know I can handle it this time. It doesn’t make it easy, exactly, but that chest-hollowing feeling is absent, and even though I’m sad, and I’m going to miss him, it’s a thousand times better than it could have been.

Kasen says goodbye, then flicks a look my way. “I’m thirsty. Gonna go grab a water. Meet you out the front?”

I nod, and we both watch Kasen disappear before I turn back to Hawke.

“I’m trying to work out if it’s easier or harder to say goodbye to you now that we’re dating.”

“Definitely easier. There’s no way I could have gotten on that plane with everything still up in the air.”

“Punny.”