Page 92 of Home Ice

“Your mom.” I have to clear my throat when a wave of emotion catches me off guard. “I hate that I couldn’t be there for you. I don’t think I’ll ever forgive her for that, but … you’re a really good kid, Kasen. So I’ll always be grateful for that too.”

His head immediately tips forward, helmet cutting off my view of his face. “Yeah,” he says shortly. “She was great.” When he peeks back up at me, his eyes are red. “Grandma too.”

I’m determined not to hate Amelia, but we haven’t gotten off to the best start. Especially since I can’t interpret what he means by that. Is it him saying he wants to stay with her? Or just stating a fact?

I search his eyes, but he gives nothing away. “She isn’t giving you a hard time for spending time with me?”

“She doesn’t know.”

I frown, not liking that at all. “You need to tell her.”

“I don’t want her to worry.”

“What does she have to worry about?”

“You taking me away.”

I’m not expecting that. “Is that what you think I’m going to do?”

“Is it what you’re going to do?”

“Do you want me to do that?”

He sets the blade of his stick between his skates and leans into it. “There’s a hockey camp not too far away where NHL players come in and help coach or have charity days. It’s a not-for-profit, and I’ve applied to go there because they have scholarships. I was accepted for one class a week through the school year, but Grandma said no. She wants me to focus on my schoolwork.”

I have no idea where he’s going with this, but it’s the most words he’s ever spoken to me.

“What I want is to have someone in my corner again. Mom worked long hours and shitty jobs, but she always found money for my hockey stuff and showed up for my games and supported the hell out of me. She made me think I could do it.”

“She was right.” My response is automatic. “And I’m not saying that because I’m your dad. You’re more skilled than I was at your age. You have talent. And you’re smart. I never was. It was hockey or bust for me. You have options.” I take a breath. “And you’re not going to need a single one of them.”

Hope lights up his eyes. “I know.”

“As for taking you away … I know you’ve been through a lot. I really want to get a chance to be your dad and have a relationship, and I’d be lying if I said I don’t picture you in St. Louis with me. But your whole life is here, and I’d never force you to do anything you don’t want to do.”

I’m not sure how he feels about that. Kasen’s good at locking his thoughts down, and even as he chews on the inside of his cheek, I can’t puzzle him out.

Finally, he holds out my stick. I take it and pass his back to him.

Then, he actually fucking smiles. “Let’s see how many shots you can make on me before you break a hip.”

My laugh chokes out of me, but I follow him to the goals and show him what it means to face a professional player. The little shit holds his own, and even through my competitive streak, a hint of pride cuts in, and I’m hit with the coolest thought I’ve ever had.

I finally know what I’m going to do with my life when I retire.

I’m going to follow his team around the country and make up for every game I’ve ever missed.

Chapter Thirty

TAI

“I’m not sure about this,” I tell Hawke as we pull up at the cafe. I’ve avoided being here while Dad is working, but my therapist mentioned it might be good for me to see with my own eyes that he’s capable.

Which, I get, but there’s that little voice worrying that he isn’t.

“If you need to go, we can go,” he says, giving my thigh a squeeze. “But you’re here now, so if you’re feeling up to it, let’s at least go inside.”

I’m apprehensive, but I unclip my seat belt and climb out of the car. Having Hawke here helps, and I genuinely do want to see Dad doing well.