Page 147 of House Ignis

"I got too close," he whispered, the words raw and wrecked.

My breath caught.

"I didn't know how to stop it," he continued, his voice cracking. "I didn't want to lose you, Ava. So I thought if I pushed you away—made you hate me—maybe it wouldn't hurt as much."

I blinked, tears prickling my eyes again. He wasn't done.

"But I could feel you falling." He exhaled a hard, jagged breath. "And gods—I was falling too. So fast it fucking scared me."

My lips parted, but no sound came out.

His forehead pressed back against mine, his voice barely a whisper. "And now I can't push you away anymore. Because I'm falling, Ava. I'm falling hard. And if I ever lose you…" He swallowed, the muscle in his jaw jumping. “I’ll drown the fucking world in darkness if that’s what it takes to bring you back.”

Silence stretched between us, filled only by our ragged breathing and the thunder of my heartbeat.

The bond flared like a second heartbeat. For once, his walls were gone. Completely gone. I leaned into him, my fingers curling into his shirt, and whispered back.

"Then don't lose me."

His lips hovered just over mine, the scent of spice and rain-washed lightning intoxicating me.

"I won't," he breathed.

And I believed him. Gods help me—I believed him.

CHAPTER NINETEEN

Ember had not stopped all gods-damned day.

The second she cornered me after the mop closet incident, I was done for.

She'd practically vibrated with protective fury and obsessive curiosity, telling me she'd been two seconds away from singeing Asher's dick off for humiliating me in the canteen.

Apparently, Ezra had to physically haul her back to keep her from committing high-tier assault on a shadow wielder.

Gods, I wished I'd seen that. But I'd cracked and confessed everything: what we'd done in that dark, cramped space and exactly what he'd said.

Ember had gone totally nuclear.

She hadn't stopped squealing or poking me since, her mind a whirlwind of "I knew it" and "Get it, girl."

He didn't even know that while I was in his arms last night, trying to find steady ground, I'd been thinking about Asher. About the thunder in his voice and the way he'd whispered that next time, no one would stop him.

Gods, what the fuck was wrong with me?

"You're a mess," Aether muttered dryly, padding beside me as we made our way toward the Tower of Archives.

"Yes," I hissed through clenched teeth, my hood pulled low to hide my flushed face. "My life is a literal gods-damned mess. I'm keeping secrets from my betrothed, lying to my bonded, and currently heading toward a forbidden basement. Iconic spiral, Aether. Truly."

I could still feel the bond, even from here. Asher was on the other side of the grounds for Riftball training. We'd grown skilled at pretending distance was protection, but the tether remained—a low, humming wire of awareness.

He thought I was spending the evening in a boring study session with Jules. Technically, I was. We were just studying things that could get us expelled. Or killed.

CI tugged my black hoodie down, my tights and boots making me feel like a shadow myself. Cloak and dagger. Perfect for a little late-night law-breaking.

As I rounded the back of the Tower of Archives, I found Jules already waiting near a cluster of ancient stone arches. Her wild orange curls were tucked beneath a heavy hood, her glasses fogging in the damp night air as she pulled her brown scholar’s robes tighter around herself.

"Jules," I whispered, checking the shadows for sentinels.