Page 109 of Mr. Darcy’s Diamonds

Her isolation? He had seen Elizabeth conversing with many people while Miss Bennet was in town. Had the gossip grown while he was away? More likely, they had been more acquaintances than friends to her.

“Sir, I have something of a delicate topic to mention…”

“Do you mean the rumors surrounding you and my niece?”

Darcy could feel his face reddening.

“Have you heard it yourself, or did Miss Elizabeth tell you of it?”

“A little of both. I had wondered whether you would broach the subject with me, but I wish you to know neither I nor Elizabeth hold you responsible. Matthew has also vouched for your upright character. We all recognize that society can be vicious. We would understand if you chose to give up the acquaintance⁠—”

“No, indeed! Bingley and I thought it may help for me to leave town for a time, but I always intended to return. I told Miss Elizabeth I will stand by her, and I have not changed my mind.”

“Stand by her? You would allow your own name to be sullied merely to maintain a friendship with my niece?”

Darcy squeezed the arms of his cane chair, looked down a moment, and took a breath before swallowing and looking into Gardiner’s eyes.

“I have not yet spoken to Miss Elizabeth, but I intend to propose marriage, sir.”

Gardiner smiled. “I confess I had wondered, although it seemed unlikely. I think Lizzy can have no notion of your intentions, unless she is more secretive than I imagine.”

“If you would be willing to wait for me to speak to her, I would be most grateful. I had hoped to improve society’s views first, but if I cannot, I will still proceed as planned.”

Gardiner stood and held out his hand, and Darcy rose and shook it.

“For what it is worth, you have my blessing. Her Uncle Bennet in Hertfordshire must give permission, however, and he has always said he will not allow her to marry before she is of age.”

“Thank you for your blessing. It means a great deal. I understand Miss Elizabeth’s cousin, Miss Mary, has been engaged for some time, although she is younger than Miss Elizabeth. Perhaps Mr. Bennet will allow for some negotiation?”

“Perhaps, perhaps.”

“Well, I thank you for your time, Gardiner, and for the invitation. I will see you Monday.”

Chapter Forty-Six

Elizabeth soon realized she need not have been concerned that the gossip had been too much for Mr. Darcy. When he came to spend the evening soon after his return to town, he was as kind as ever, playing with her cousins and discussing politics, books, and his recent travels with her and Aunt and Uncle. He seemed really to consider her uncle a friend, which still surprised her sometimes. She loved Uncle Gardiner, but she knew most gentlemen of a station so high as Mr. Darcy’s would not condescend to such intimacy. Mr. Darcy behaved as though he belonged in the family. It was like February and March all over again, before Jane had come.

During the next fortnight, Mr. Darcy, Elizabeth, and Matthew took regular early morning rides; he came to dine and visit with the Gardiners several times; and they dined at his home twice. Once Mr. Bingley had been at Darcy House, and the other time Colonel Fitzwilliam was a guest. She was called on to play and sing almost every evening they were together, and he always turned her pages.

Elizabeth had resisted the idea when they had been in each other’s company so much in the winter, but she realized Mr. Darcy was her closest friend. She felt herself wishing to be entirely open with him, and they had already shared so much. He knew about her childhood at Longbourn, the good and bad. He knew of her early relationships with Jane and Mary and how their friendships had changed. When she told him about her Aunt Bennet and her first days in London, she could not tell whether he was angry at the situation she had been placed in or merely concerned for her well-being.

“Thank God for Matthew,” was all he said, eyes closed, when she told him about her first walk down Gracechurch Street, alone. She could not but agree.

He had told her of his secret places inside Pemberley House and on the grounds. He had painted pictures with words for her to imagine his home, and she had attempted to put it on canvas. She showed him her progress, and he told her of the parts she had gotten right and those she needed to correct.

Elizabeth even shared her attic studio with Mr. Darcy one afternoon. With Dinah in the corner, she had showed him her paintings and sketches, some of which they discussed more when they had more privacy.

She knew he was close to his cousin the colonel and worried about the danger he was in even when only training in England. He told her about his university experiences and his friends and about how much he liked to fence. She had not previously known he had met Mr. Bingley at their fencing school. She came to realize how very athletic Mr. Darcy was. He did not pad his coat but had earned his physique naturally. He fenced, boxed, rode horses, and even worked alongside his tenants, he had told her once.

Elizabeth understood that Mr. Darcy was sometimes lonely with his parents deceased, his sister in Kent, and his cousin often away. She understood why he had struck up a solid understanding with her uncle. She could not, however, fully comprehend why he tolerated her company enough to go riding with her. Was it possible he gained from their conversations as much as she did? He had a superior understanding of the world, as she had been nowhere but Longbourn and London. She was well-read, of course, and she knew he valued their debates about history and literature.

Given the closeness that had developed between them, Elizabeth had a longing to tell him her whole truth. She had long hidden her illegitimacy, and she hesitated to tell him. He had accepted her when he thought she was the daughter of a tenant farmer, so perhaps he would not reject her when he knew all. Even if the knowledge did prove too much for him, she felt uneasy keeping it from him. They had been so open, and it seemed dishonest to hide this important part of herself. She was tempted to tell him each time they rode and could speak privately, but she always found a reason to wait.

On Tuesday, the excuse had been that she had not wished to spoil the exceptional mood. Mr. Darcy had surprised her on their morning ride by telling her he had applied for and obtained five tickets for the British Museum for that Friday. He and Mr. Bingley would meet Elizabeth and her aunt and uncle at the front of the museum. She had been so excited that he had remembered her wish to see the Egyptian exhibit and that he had made the effort to get the coveted tickets. She and Matthew had gone to Dutton’s as soon as they returned to Gracechurch Street, and she had again taken out the book about Egypt that Mr. Shaw had set aside for her previously.

Then the day before, an early June rain had precluded their morning ride, so she had seen him only when he had called on her uncle for an hour after dinner. In the few minutes she could speak to him, she shared information she had read about Egypt.

Today, though, she was determined to tell Mr. Darcy all. He was meeting her at the Foundling Hospital. After hearing so much about it from her, he had wanted to meet the children himself.