Page 125 of Mr. Darcy’s Diamonds

Elizabeth chuckled. “Not so much anymore, but I used to all the time. I now look so much like her that it feels odd, as though as I am talking to myself. Her portrait was a great comfort to me when I was fifteen and struggling with my origin, though. She reminded me that I am a Bennet. Even if my father was not, she was, and so I am, too.”

He smiled at her and opened his mouth to speak, but Sir Abraham came in, followed by Miss Bingley. They both returned to their books but were soon drawn into conversation with the betrothed couple about London activities. It was clear to Elizabeth that Miss Bingley was attempting to convince the baronet to live in London permanently, but he countered every argument with praise for his estate and the surrounding Durham countryside.

Elizabeth chuckled when she considered that Miss Bingley would likely have a child in a year or two, and she might need a governess not too long after that. Elizabeth would be overjoyed to live in the countryside, even so far away as Durham. For that matter, Jane and Mary would need help with their children. Perhaps she could live with one of them in a year or two. She could help with their children without taking on the taint of officially being in service. Would either of her cousins consider it?

Her heart pounded as she suddenly thought of what it would mean if she could live with Jane. She glanced at Mr. Darcy, who was already looking at her quizzically. If Jane would allow her to be her companion and then her de facto nursemaid and governess, she would see Mr. Darcy, perhaps often. They would continue their camaraderie and easy conversation, and she could be near him even though he would never be hers.

Her heart sank when she thought of him bringing his own wife and children to visit. She would be asked to care for his sons and daughters along with Jane’s. She found it difficult to swallow over the dryness of her mouth. Even though she had heard no more of the lady who had stolen his heart and nothing seemed to have come of it in the year and a half since Mr. Bingley had made the claim to his sister, Mr. Darcy may still love the unknown woman. Or there would be another.

She opened the book in her lap and stared at the pages. For a brief moment of exquisite felicity, she had thought she had found a beautiful solution to her problems. Too soon, her dream had crashed heavily around her. No matter how much Mr. Darcy professed his friendship would not fade, no man would go riding with a female friend once he was married. Their lively discussions about everything would come to an end.

While the others were in conversation, she discretely excused herself, ignoring the gaze she felt burning her back. He may think he wished to be lasting friends, but he would discover soon enough that he needed more from a woman than he wanted from her and more than she would be allowed to give.

She retreated to her bedchamber for the remainder of the day. At dinner, she sat as far from Mr. Darcy as she could and involved herself as thoroughly as possible in the planning for the ball. That night in her bedchamber, she listened to the rain still drumming against her window, and she prayed fervently that it would cease and the roads would dry, so she could return to Longbourn. She needed to place more distance than she had achieved that day between herself and Mr. Darcy.

Chapter Fifty-Three

Dinah offered to bring breakfast to Elizabeth’s bedchamber the next morning, but she declined. The rain continued to blur the view out her window, but she could see enough water pooled on the grounds to know she would make no escape from this house any time soon.

She went through their sitting room to knock on Jane’s bedchamber door and found her cousin finishing her toilette.

“The ball is the day after tomorrow. Were you able to sleep at all last night?” Elizabeth grinned at her cousin, who blushed. She had decided the day before that focusing on the other ladies trapped with her in this house was the only way she would survive the ordeal.

“I had hoped to purchase new shoe roses before Tuesday, but I suppose I will have to make do with my old ones.”

“Oh, Jane. If I have any in my trunk that match your gown, you may take mine. If we cannot make it back to Longbourn before the ball, I am not sure how any of the guests will find their way here.”

Jane looked worried, so Elizabeth went to the window and peered out. “I believe the rain is less today than it was. Surely, it will stop soon. Since we cannot go to church, let us go down and see whether Caroline needs any help preparing for the ball.”

As it happened, the ladies had much to talk of but little to do. The servants had cleaned all the rooms in preparation, and after the Sabbath break, they would scrub the ballroom again the next day, place new wax candles, and listen to Miss Bingley’s orders for every other arrangement.

Later that day, Elizabeth both regretted and congratulated herself on how well she had avoided Mr. Darcy when he came up behind her in the passageway outside the ballroom.

“Will you come with me, Miss Elizabeth? I would like to show you something.” His voice was deep and serious, and she worried something was amiss so took his offered arm and joined him without a word.

She was confused when he took her into the ballroom, which was dimly lit by the grey light coming in through the many tall windows.

“What can you have to show me in here? We all came to the ballroom yesterday to discuss where to put the flowers.”

“I wonder whether you took note of the quality of the dance floor.”

She raised her brows in question, and he swallowed.

“I apologize for the pretense. It has been so difficult to find a moment to talk to you. Will you do me the honor of dancing the supper set with me at Tuesday’s ball?”

It was exactly what Elizabeth had hoped for, although she knew she shouldn’t.

“I would love to. You are a fine dancer, and I can think of no better friend to partner with for that set.” She smiled playfully, not wishing to let him know how delighted she was with his offer.

He continued to walk with her slowly through the large room. When they passed another window, he stopped and looked sideways at her.

“Miss Elizabeth, will you also dance the first and the last sets with me?”

She tried to pull away, but he placed his free hand over hers on his arm, gently requesting she stay. She could have removed her arm, but the look in his eyes as he turned to stand in front of her halted her movement.

“You know I cannot. Why would you say such a thing, Mr. Darcy? Select any set you wish, but it can be only one. The Bennets’ neighbors are not like the ton, but even they will not remain silent for such a display.”

“And what would they say?”