Page 33 of Mr. Darcy’s Diamonds

Intelligence such as Mr. Darcy’s was sorely lacking in Caroline’s home. Or perhaps more accurately, scholarly pursuits were lacking. Caroline and her family were not dunces, but their interests were in society and social rank. She had seen this vaguely before their father’s death, but since then it had been clear that Caroline wished to marry for wealth and connections and expected her brother to do the same.

In the past, Elizabeth had been relieved to hear few questions about her family, but after talking with Mr. Darcy, she realized Caroline showed little interest in Elizabeth’s feelings or hopes, either. She had never asked how she felt about leaving Hertfordshire and her cousins. She assumed Elizabeth preferred London because Caroline did.

The older girl had not even told her she had decided to come out in society early. Elizabeth had been surprised to see her friend look different on her last visit. Why would she not tell her in one of the letters she had sent to Longbourn?

Once Elizabeth had returned to London, Caroline had explained that she was out only while at home with Mr. Darcy and would not be fully in society until the spring, as previously decided. Elizabeth wondered that Mrs. Hurst and Mr. Bingley had allowed it, but Caroline had not chosen to elaborate on the decision.

Elizabeth had experienced so little of friendship the past few years, ever since Jane had rejected her, that she had grown unused to recognizing it, she supposed. Even Mary, though glad to see her recently, had found other interests in her absence, as reading and writing letters had been so difficult due to her limited eyesight. Elizabeth had been happy to have someone to occupy her lonely London hours and to need her. Caroline had needed her, when she was in town for the summer without other acquaintances and when she had lost her father. But Elizabeth was not sure she needed her anymore.

Perhaps their friendship would end when Caroline returned to school the following week. Elizabeth was used to girls being friendly when it suited them and then ignoring her when they found something better, such as bonnets and balls. She had a few days left to see her friend before being parted by school. She would value what time she could.

When Elizabeth arrived the following day to visit Caroline, however, she was cold to her. She did not look up from the screen she was painting.

“Play something lively today, Eliza, I beg you. Your music the other day was so gloomy,” Caroline said.

“Was it? I had not intended it to be so.”

“Perhaps Mr. Darcy insulted you again to put you in such a state?”

“Not at all. We had a friendly conversation.” Elizabeth continued through the room to the shelf by the pianoforte that contained sheet music.

“What did you speak of for so long? It was hardly proper of you,” Caroline said.

“He said your brother had showed him our paintings and sketches, and he asked if he could have one I had drawn of his sister.”

Caroline walked over to Elizabeth and glared at her.

“You know you are not out.” Caroline had not asked a question, so Elizabeth only raised her eyebrows.

Caroline raised her chin for a moment, then fingered some sheet music before pulling some pages out. “Play this while I paint my table. It will suit my mood perfectly.”

Elizabeth had expected to have Caroline’s friendship for at least a few more months, until she finished at her seminary and entered society with friends her own age. Her behavior today, however, did not feel like affection. As she began to play the dictated tune, she considered that even though she would not attend social events with Caroline, perhaps if she introduced Jane to her, she could hold onto her friend a little longer.

Caroline returned to her seminary the following week. Before she left, Elizabeth gathered her paintings and drawings and supplies and ensured she had not left sheet music or books anywhere. She did not know when she might be invited back after the way her friend had behaved toward her lately. She was even less sure she wished to return. Caroline had reminded her on each recent visit that Elizabeth was not likely to make a good match.

“I understand now why you do not wish to come out yet,” Caroline had said. “You said your cousins came out at sixteen, so you could, as well, even though you are in London. But I think you are right to avoid society as long as possible. Many people will look down on you for your lack of wealth and connections. If I did not have twenty thousand pounds, I would be less eager to come out, as well.”

Elizabeth wondered why Caroline had suddenly changed so much. Even if she had not always been attentive, she had not been spiteful. Elizabeth would not have spent the better part of the past nine months with her otherwise. Was this how she had decided to cope with the loss of her father? She would not make it more difficult for her by confronting her now.

Elizabeth did not see Mr. Darcy again in the final week she spent with Caroline. She had hoped she would, as he was an engaging conversationalist. She had no wish to witness Caroline hanging off his arm again, though. She had been embarrassed for her when she had seen it. He had not seemed to welcome Caroline’s attention, either. More than once as he sat next to Caroline, he had shared a commiserating glance with Elizabeth as she continued to play music for the group. She laughed when she thought of it.

“What amuses you, Lizzy?” Aunt Gardiner asked as they sat together sewing before the fire.

“The oddity of change, I suppose,” she said.

Chapter Seventeen

Elizabeth appreciated being in control of her time again. She found the attic studio to be sufficient for her art, the pianoforte to sound nearly as rich as the Hursts’ instrument, and her young cousins’ attention to be more rewarding than Caroline’s. She had allowed herself to be enveloped by Caroline for more than three months. What started with helping her deal with her father’s loss had somehow made Elizabeth lose a bit of herself.

Although even then she had spent more than half of her days with the Gardiner family, those days held the remaining studies she had eliminated from her time with Caroline. She could breathe easier now in the knowledge that she could play with her cousins, help her aunt plan meals, discuss current events with her uncle, and still have time for her lessons.

In March, a fortnight after Elizabeth’s sixteenth birthday, Jane came to stay in the room next to hers. Elizabeth had been anxious to make a good impression, hoping to be friends with her cousin again. Jane had acknowledged her but showed no particular interest in seeing her. It was the same at Christmas, but Elizabeth had thought Jane would want a friend in London. As it turned out, Jane soon had many friends. Aunt and Uncle Gardiner had agreed to chaperone her this Season, so they went out with her several nights each week, and Aunt took Jane on calls or received them most every day.

Elizabeth stayed in her bedchamber or the nursery or her attic studio during these calls. The attic light was best not only for painting but for embroidery and reading, as well, with a view over the low supplementary sections of Leadenhall Market rather than the tall grey buildings blocking the sun’s rays into her bedchamber. When her masters came, she studied in a back parlor with Dinah, as usual.

Elizabeth was satisfied that she had plenty to do. She did not feel any more alone than she had a year before.

But why did Jane not wish to be friends? Elizabeth invited her to the park with the children, offered to embroider her gowns, asked her what books she had read recently. Nothing got Jane to speak with her. It was too cold to go out, she had a modiste making her gowns, and she did not recall the last book she read. Jane was not unkind. She was merely there.