Page 42 of Mr. Darcy’s Diamonds

“You are correct that I would have no chance with Mr. Darcy. Do not concern yourself, Caroline. I have no interest in him beyond a natural regard for him as a friend of his sister, if I can claim that after one day’s acquaintance.”

“Be sure you remember it. He indulges you in your childish interests, but make no mistake that he would ever consider you as anything more than a little girl.”

Elizabeth swallowed. She knew Caroline spoke the truth, yet she realized she had begun to harbor a small tendre for him. It was only a girlish fantasy, so she nodded, and Caroline left her alone.

Darcy was walking past the library toward Hurst’s study when he heard his name in Miss Elizabeth’s clear voice and halted.

“Mr. Darcy…do not concern yourself, Caroline. I have no interest in him beyond a natural regard for him as a friend of his sister, if I can claim that after one day’s acquaintance.”

Darcy walked on, surprised at the tightness he felt in his chest. It was nothing but his own pride, of course, at not being thought of as highly eligible by every girl he met. He was reassured he had not raised expectations or even hopes in Miss Elizabeth during his many unguarded conversations with her. He should be overjoyed, not embarrassed or hurt. He could have caused her serious heartache. Knowing he would not should make their excursion on the morrow far simpler.

Chapter Twenty

The next day, however, London received a downpour worthy of January. Uncle Gardiner sent a note to Mr. Darcy indicating Elizabeth and her aunt would meet him outside the Tower of London entrance the following day, instead, if ten o’clock Friday morning would suit and the rain ceased.

Elizabeth was disappointed, knowing the rain may very well continue and the menagerie scheme may come to nothing. She could go with her aunt or uncle another time now that she knew of the existence of the place. But to have no more chance of seeing Mr. Darcy before he left town? Her dejection at the possibility told her she cared for the man far more than she should. She had liked him in January, but she had not wondered before whether he could ever care for her. She had been honest with Caroline the day before—not when she said she had no interest in Mr. Darcy but when she conceded she had no chance of attracting his regard.

She would get older, and their age difference would come to mean little. Her birth, however, could never change. Her illegitimacy could never be overlooked. With a resigned sigh, she acknowledged that his lack of interest in courting her at least meant she would not have to disclose the full truth to him. As long as they went on as friends on the rare occasions they might continue to see each other in town, he could believe whatever he did now. And it could be of little harm to privately reflect on his dancing eyes, strong jaw, broad shoulders, and impressive knowledge. His kindness and patience were also in his favor.

“What are you sighing about, Lizzy? Are you upset about your entertainment being canceled?”

Elizabeth shot up from where she had been reclining in the window seat. She felt her cheeks heat as she nodded to her cousin, who had entered the drawing room silently.

“You will surely see the animals some other day.”

“Yes. How was the ball last night, Jane?” Elizabeth resumed her seat.

It was her cousin’s turn to sigh dreamily. “Mr. Bingley danced two sets with me. He is everything a young man ought to be. I do not know how I will bear it when we must part tomorrow.”

“Has he…that is, has he spoken of…” Jane had still shared little with her since their argument, so Elizabeth was surprised she had said so much already.

“Of marriage? No, not yet. As you said, we are both young. He has told me what you did, that he has some time yet at university. He did ask me if I would return to London, though.”

“That is promising. What did you tell him?”

“I had already written to Mama, and she has said I may come back at any time, though certainly next spring will be the most convenient. I will correspond with Caroline this year, and she will inform me of her brother’s school holidays.”

“And you have met no other gentlemen in London who have interested you?”

“Not like Mr. Bingley has. I do hope he will remember me when I have gone. He will see so many fine London ladies while I am in the country.”

“Not so many,” Elizabeth laughed. “He will be safely out of the way at Oxford for most of the year, after all. And when he has his next term break, most people of fashion will have decamped for the country.”

Jane hummed her agreement.

“What did you mean, Jane,” Elizabeth asked hesitantly, “when you said last week that you have been lonely? Did you mean here in London or at Longbourn?”

Jane’s dreamy eyes clouded, and her gaze skittered over Elizabeth’s face and landed on the cushion beside her. She sat next to her and took her hand. Startled, Elizabeth nearly pulled away but caught herself in time.

“I am sorry I said that, Lizzy. It must have sounded heartless. You have been far more alone than I have ever been.”

The corners of Elizabeth’s eyes began to burn, and she willed herself not to cry. One small acknowledgment that the younger girl had feelings should not undo her.

“You are correct that I have never had to face solitude. I have always had the companionship of my sisters and friends and parents. Do you remember Charlotte Lucas? She has become a close friend, and she has helped me to understand that I did not treat you well while you were at home.”

Elizabeth’s jaw dropped, but she hurried to hide signs of her astonishment.

“I knew it was not right. You were always so brave, though, taking charge of your own life even though you have no parents and my mother was unkind to you. I have never been strong enough to do or say anything against my mother, even when it meant losing your friendship, Lizzy.”