Page 47 of Seein’ Red

“No, you can't tell Dustin. Or any of your guys,” I say, wanting to puke all over again. “This has to stay between us girls for now.”

“I’m going to guess that Noel already knows,” Bronwyn interjects. “He made a comment last night when I asked about his day that it took a weird turn.”

Oh shit…

Noel knows. Of course he does. For all I know, Noel has known the whole time about Nash and me, and just never said anything. Because if there is anyone on this earth that can keep a secret, it’s Noel Keller.

“Noel’s the exception; he is his twin,” I acquiesce. “But no one else. Not ’til we know for sure. Speaking of…”

I look down again, and the test still reads as inconclusive. There’s a line, but it’s faint. Not at all what the pictures on the box look like. I know what I want it to mean, but…a line is a line, right?

“So…according to the Internet,” Sylvie starts, thumb scrolling along her phone. Ever the science teacher, she’s knee-deep in research and facts. “Some places are saying that if it’s too faint to easily read, that’s a negative, but others are saying any kind of indication from that line is a positive. This one blog warns that tests like that are often false negatives, but then a search for false negatives said that those are like, less than one percent.”

“What about false positives?” Bronwyn questions.

“Also less than one percent.”

Great, just great…

“So we are not better off than before all this,” I say.

“Some of the sites say the best time to test is first thing in the morning because your urine is extra concentrated,” Sylvie continues. “Which makes sense. Also means you’ll have the highest concentration of HCG, so more likely to register. We should find another store, buy another test, and you can do this again in the morning.”

I heave out a long, heavy breath. The last thing I want to do is do this again. Sylvie is probably right—she usually is when it comes to sciencey things—but I also need to face facts.

“It’s Tuesday, y’all. Which means I’m a full seven days late. Had I been paying more attention, I would have realized it before this weekend, but I wasn’t. Either way, seven days. And this…” I hold up the test. “A line is a line, right?. I’m pregnant.”

All my emotions hit me at once, a full body slam, forcing me to take a step back. It’s all I can do to breathe, to process that word. Pregnant.

“We can stop and get another test to try again tomorrow,” Kenzie says matter-of-factly. “Then we’ll know for sure and go from there.”

I nod, knowing that is a good plan. I can deal with this again tomorrow. Right now, what I need is a drink.

Except, I can’t.

Fuck.

“There’s food at the caterer’s, right?” I ask, going another route. Because sometimes, peel and eat shrimp meet an emotional need.

“Yup, it’s a full meal of everything that is being served. Only thing we don’t have is cake, since Alice at Oh, My Lard! is doing that.”

I smile, the same bright, saccharine, fake as hell pageant one I was wearing in the photo I pointed out earlier. Kenzie, Sylvie, and Bronwyn all smile back, theirs real despite them knowing mine is forced. They meant it when they said they were in this with me, and I couldn’t ask for three better women to be huddled in a stall with.

But I need to get out of this fucking bathroom.

“Then let’s go eat our feelings.”

14

NASH

Up until this moment, I don’t think I’ve ever truly understood what the girls mean when they say “all the feels.” But as I sneak up the back stairs of the Llewellyn building, I suddenly get it. I’m pretty sure I’ve run the entire gamut of emotions these last forty-eight hours, all of them currently settled into a knot in the center of my chest.

All the feels.

The lack of any kind of response from Willa only amplifies those feels. I have little doubt that the roller coaster she’s on is moving faster and has way more twists than mine, but a man can only take being ignored so much before he has to act.

So, I climb the stairs.