Page 101 of Feel It in the Air

Plus, continuing to eat my feelings is absolutely the answer.

Okay, maybe not. But it is making me feel better. Ish.

“So Carl tells me.”

“But you didn’t listen?”

“Did you want me to stay away?”

No…

“We’ve been accused of having an inappropriate relationship and favoritism,” I say, ignoring his question. “I’ve been suspended!”

“So have I,” he tells me, walking over to me. Placing his hands on my hips, he pulls me away from the food, trying to recapture my full attention. Exactly what I don’t need. “It’s standard policy. It’s fine.”

“It is not fine!” I shout, breaking away from him. My voice cracks, my resolve starting to waver. The piece of dental floss from earlier starts to unravel. “Maybe it’s fine for you, Gus Hayes, but it is not fine for me. My entire career is at risk here.”

Gus stares at me for a moment, confusion taking over, then giving way to indignation. “And you think mine isn’t?”

“They aren’t going to fire a Hayes.” I shrug, pointing out the obvious. Way more snark than intended drips from my words, an unintended side effect from the last straw snapping inside me.

There’s no holding back now. A tidal wave of emotion hits me, knocking me back. The intensity of it makes it hard to breathe, my insides shattering like a mirror. A thousand little cracks spiderwebbing in every direction, waiting for the first piece to fall.

“I’ve worked hard to get where I am, Gus. So. Fucking. Hard. And now…now all that is tainted. You and I both know there was zero favoritism going on. But that doesn’t matter. Even the insinuation of conflict of interest is enough. The corporate world is a small one. People talk.”

Gus remains still and perfectly stoic. Like a statue. I swallow hard, waiting for him to move. Say something. Do something. But he doesn’t. He remains just like that, letting me rage on.

So I do.

“There is only one way to rectify this,” I say, my voice catching on the emotion in my throat. Tears burn at the corners of my eyes, threatening to fall, but I blink them back. “If we end things now, we both have a chance of salvaging our careers. Of putting the complaint behind us, and letting it be nothing more than a blip. Then it won’t ruin what we’ve worked for.”

My voice is small, but my certainty isn’t. I know what I need to do.

My heart may be shattering, but my head is the one running the show, and I know how it needs to go down. The answer has been presented to me on a silver platter. I simply need to accept. It’s the only way to avoid what I know is coming. I’ve been climbing the corporate ladder long enough to know that all it takes is one misstep to slide all the way down.

All the fucking way.

“You want to break up?”

Want to? No. Fuck, how can he think this is what I want?

“I’m trying to be pragmatic. To think of our careers. I’ve never let a relationship get in the way before, and…” I trail off, because I am not going to finish that sentence. Instead, I swallow back the tears and push on. “We took a risk, and it didn’t work in our favor. We have to live with the consequences.”

And in this case, that consequence is a broken heart.

“Dexter Wynn called,” I continue, not letting him respond. I need to finish this, so I can finish my ice cream. And cry some more. “He heard Percy is retiring and he offered me a job.”

“What?”

“I’m going to take it.”

“Margeaux.”

Stepping into me, Gus reaches out, but I step back, holding out my hand. I need there to be room between us. Room so I can think.

Leaving here—him—is the last thing I want. But it’s the only way I can save my career. And his. Because the only thing that might be more important than me salvaging my own reputation is not letting Gus trash his. Not letting him lose what he’s also worked so hard to maintain. What his family has worked all these generations to create.

I can’t let the man I love lose all that over me.