Page 91 of Already Callin’ You Mine

An internal freak-out that is spinning around at the speed of the Tasmanian Devil.

“Pres…”

“No, Jace. No.” I cut him off, swallowing a sob. “You can’t just show up. I told you that I couldn’t tonight and⁠—”

“You said you didn’t have a babysitter. I found a solution.”

He found a solution. Just like that. Without asking. Without begging. Simply took it upon himself to fix the situation. Because he wanted to spend time with me.

The woman who has nothing to offer him.

“I didn’t need a solution. I…”

“Talk to me, Pres.” He steps into me, opening his arms to wrap them around me, but I step backward, out of reach. “What did I do?”

“Nothing.”

“Must have done something.”

Fair…

“No. It’s not you…it’s…”

“So help me, if you hit me with ‘it’s not you it’s me,’” he jokingly threatens.

Okay, then I won’t. I’ll find another line.

“Jace, you don’t want me.”

He shakes his head, confusion taking over. “I don’t?”

“Nope. I am not what you want in a partner. I can’t be wild and free and go out on random Thursday nights because it sounds like fun or the whole gang will be there. I have real adult responsibilities. Like cleaning my house. Or cooking dinner. And I will always have Otis. He comes first. I have to put him first.”

“Is that what you want? For me to cook dinner? Because I can.”

Oh, for the love. That’s what he took from that? I mean, yes, I would love for him to cook dinner. I would love for anyone other than myself to cook dinner. But that wasn’t the point of this.

“No, Jace. My life is messy. You don’t want to get mixed up in that.”

“What if I do?”

He steps in closer, my heart kicking up a notch, reaching for him. I want to bury myself against his chest, let him hold me and tell me he has things under control. That he’s got this. Got me. That we’re in this together and that I—we, Otis and I—are what he wants.

More than anything, I want to be able to believe it when he says it. But I don’t know that I can.

“I can’t risk it.”

A single tear slips down my cheek, everything inside me ripping to shreds as I whisper my answer. I can feel the tiny little fissures spread throughout my body as I shatter, taking their sweet time to inflict as much pain as possible.

“Risk what?”

“You not choosing us.”

“Pres…” Jace takes another step, but I slide to the side, keeping the distance between us. “What about anything that I’ve done makes you think I’m not choosing you?”

“You say that now. But…” I swallow hard, pushing down the wad of emotion choking its way up. “Cody was all in too. Until he wasn’t. And I can’t do that again. Won’t do that again. And I sure as hell won’t do that to Otis.”

Jace’s jaw drops. Only for a split second, but then he rights himself, a fire igniting in his eyes.