Page 69 of Hiding in the Outfield

Ribby for little Pao Pao.

“So, back to you and your orgasms.” Shelby blinks innocently at me.

I stick my tongue out at her, and she grins.

“We’ve established: you’re exclusive, he’s not your man, you have infrequent orgasms, but frequent cuddles,” Maddy says.

“Um, when did we establish that last part?”

“That was purely observational on my part,” he says. “So, what exactly are you? It sounds a hell of a lot like a relationship.”

“You’re not friends with benefits,” Shelby pipes in. “You weren’t friends to start with. It’s more than sex lessons, considering these lessons seem few and far between.”

She has me there. “I guess…we’re fake boyfriends?”

Maddy and Shelby cock their heads in unison.

“I’m giving him back the experiences he never had growing up. That includes sex, but also someone to cuddle up with while watching movies and that kind of thing. Just without the expectation of real feelings.” Without letting it turn into something I can’t give him.

“Frankie’s very own boyfriend experience,” Maddy murmurs, his gaze on the screen where East is up to bat. “An interesting service.”

“This is not the fake-boyfriend situation I’m used to,” Shelby adds.

“Yes, well, you read a lot of romance novels.”

She toasts me with her wineglass and takes another sip.

Easton strikes out, and we all groan.

Shelby turns back to me. “I know what Paulie says about Jackson and his particular dislike for him, but I don’t know… Whenever we’ve gone out with the team to Zingers, I’ve seen glimpses of this aching sadness in him. It makes a lot more sense now.”

“Me too,” Maddy adds. “I knew something was off, though I wasn’t sure what, the first time I met him. We clicked instantly, and he was so different with me than he was with any of his teammates. I thought he might be putting on a face for the team…”

“I think it’s really nice that you’re doing this for him, Frank,” Shelby says quietly.

I steel myself against the uncomfortable twist of my stomach. “Yes, such a sacrifice to have to share time and orgasms with a sexy professional ballplayer,” I joke.

“I mean, I think we can all agree on that point,” Maddy says. “Jackson is Delicious with a capital D.”

Shelby lets out a dreamy sigh. “I always thought Maddy had the sexiest brood-face, but Jackson totally takes the cake. No offense, Madz.”

“None taken. I completely agree. He’s got the sad boy brood which is, like, impossible to resist.”

“I don’t discriminate against the brood,” I say. “Bad boy brood. Sad boy brood. Mad boy brood. Give me all the broods.”

Maddy grins and shakes his head. “I agree with Shelbs, though. What you’re doing for him…it’s big.” His smile softens. “Just because you’re benefiting from this arrangement doesn’t make what you’re doing for Jackson any less impactful.

“When I visited him after everything went down, he told me a little about his family and hometown. And I could tell from the little he said he was holding back things much, much worse. And when I told him what it had been like for me: a supportive family who loved me even harder afterward… God, the look in his eyes. The bone-deep longing broke my fucking heart.”

Maddox stares intently at me, but I refuse to shift. He thinks he can look at me with his little voodoo physical therapist stare and see more than there is. There is nothing to see here.

“I’ve noticed a huge change in him since he started coming over. And I see more of what I’d recognized lurking underneath the surface. A guy who’s funny, kind, thoughtful. He’s going to make a man very lucky one day.”

“Maybe even a man we know,” Shelby singsongs.

I send her a dry look. “Don’t hold your breath, babe. No one’s made an honest man out of me yet. Jackson won’t be the one who does.”

I don’t like the look Maddy and Shelby share. They don’t understand, but I know better. I’m Jackie’s soft place to land while he’s here. A balm for his wounds. And one day he won’t need me any longer. Just like everyone else. I know better than to forget that fact.