Page 28 of Ashborne Forged

She sat back as well, clearly shocked. Her forehead pinched. “Can I ask why you wouldn’t?”

“I have a job that’s truly dangerous. I am dangerous.”

“But—”

I raised a hand to stop her. “My biggest concern is… My childhood was something I wouldn’t wish on an enemy. That makes me unsure I’d ever want to bring children into this world.”

Her expression was pained. As if I threatened to take something precious from her. She wanted to have children? With me? I was stunned by her simple trust, after all I’d put her through. And yet, she looked at me expectantly. How to explain my hesitation without speaking things I couldn’t? Or things I swore I never would?

“Grace… My work…” I couldn’t tell her about the Shadowfang. She’d already deduced that I was more than a simple soldier—we’d met in another kingdom, after all. And I’d helped her deal with killing a man. But there was so much to my work that she couldn’t know. Yet. Yet. I was certain she’d join me in the Shadowfang eventually. But not for some time. How to make sure she didn’t hear the vague explanations as excuses? “At any moment, I could be called to war,” I said finally. “As could you.”

“But, I’m not a Furyknight yet.”

“You will be.” I wasn’t flattering her. “But even if that takes months, my job means that I could be called out tomorrow. Or next week. Or next month. I grew up in a home where my parents were resident, but rarely present, and it was hell. I couldn’t imagine a life as a child when my parents simply disappeared at a moment’s notice. And while we always hope and pray we’ll return, we can’t ignore the fact that this work is dangerous. Furyknights die every year. And in battle, we lose many in a day. I’m not sure I can conscience bringing a child into this world, only to leave them.”

Grace dropped her chin, looking at her hands in her lap. “I hadn’t thought about that.”

“I don’t want to scare you, but this is the reality of this life. If you were to get pregnant… God, could we even let you even fly? What if you fell?”

“Koa would take care of me,” she said firmly. But she didn’t raise her eyes.

“I have no doubt. But you’re reckless. You don’t protect yourself. Koa can’t protect you from you.” I shook my head. “Regardless, for now, would you be willing to delay? Just until we have more clarity?”

“Yes,” she said simply, then looked up at me, her eyes sad, but also smiling. “I want time with you. Time to learn and strengthen. To build a life. Together.”

“So do I.” And I did. God help me, I did.

She stared at me a moment, then tilted her head. “You know, for someone so brave, you make many decisions out of fear.” While I tried to think of an answer to that, she took both herb bags and weighed them in her palms. Then, as if she’d made a decision, she let them drop into her lap and offered me a mischievous grin. “I look forward to frightening you.”

But even as I chuckled, her smile tightened.

9. A Quiet Place to Lay Your Head

~ GRACE ~

We flew for hours. South and west, closer to the mountains and the sea. And I loved it—loved flying with Koa, especially in the early hours when we flew just above the tree canopy to make ourselves less likely to be noticed by Furyknights flying patrols.

But the air grew colder as we moved south, and when we could finally climb in the sky, with nothing but a crescent moon and most of the cloud-cover having passed, I could see little but the dark smudge of trees below, and the tall mountains ahead.

‘Kham knows his way,’ Koa assured me.

I patted her neck. ‘Yes, he does. And Voski, as well. I’m glad we’ll have some time alone.’

‘It is needy,’ Koa said solemnly, but with a trill of happiness underlining the words. She sent me a flash of an image—her and Kham, pressed together, necks and tails entwined.

I blushed and bit my lip. ‘I don’t need to see that, Koa.’

‘What is the word you use?’

I opened my mouth and then hesitated. What was the word the dragons would use? ‘Mating?’

‘Ah, yes. That is the best.’

I looked aside and slightly ahead, where Kham flew, his golden scales looking like dull metal in the dark night. And the black shadow of Voski clinging to this back. My belly tingled, and Koa whistled.

The best? Yes, I supposed it was. Sex had turned out to be not only pleasurable, but connecting. I had felt Voski soften toward me from the first time. And now…

He turned in my direction, as if he knew I was thinking about him. I smiled and waved, wishing we could have flown together. But I needed the practice, and he’d said he might not keep his hands off me if we were pressed together for hours on end.