Page 67 of Ashborne Forged

I respected him more than any man alive. Had vowed myself to his service when it became clear that our hierarchy was under threat.

If I’d ever been asked who I wished to be, I would have named him without second thought. I’d been gratified by our growing trust. But now he stood over me, eyes on fire, raging.

The child inside of me wanted to cower, and plead for compassion. The man in me wanted to fight.

“You listen very carefully, Voski,” he growled. “Sometimes I forget how young you are, because you conduct yourself with such steadiness. At least, you did. These recent weeks have been a trying and testing time for all of us, and I know you’ve carried more than the others. But even under that kind of pressure… don’t be a dick.”

I huffed. “Sir—”

“I am disappointed,” he muttered, and the bottom fell out of my lungs. “I don’t know what’s going on in your head, but I know this: In this squad, and among our brethren,” he lowered his voice to avoid any chance of being overheard in a reference to the Shadowfang, “you are trusted. Admired. Viewed as eminently capable. If the men around you, particularly those who follow you, learned that you lied to them about anything that wasn’t mission-centric, you’ll teach all of them to question every word that leaves your lips. Is that what you want?”

“Of course not!”

I didn’t see his hand coming. He cuffed me upside the head like I was a boy, and I squawked, then snapped back to attention, glaring at him.

But, he met me, scowl for scowl.

22. Prove Your Truth

~ VOSKI ~

“What the fuck do you think you’re doing, Voski?” Donavyn muttered.

“If I knew, sir, I would tell you. But this is new for me.”

“It’s new for all of us. It doesn’t mean you undermine every bit of good you’ve done in the past seven years and throw it all out the fucking window!”

“I’m not!”

“Wake up, soldier!” he barked, leaning in on me. “As leaders, we hide only what is necessary for the safety of all. We are the backbone of this society. And you’re going to lie to your men because you want to keep your mate to yourself?”

“No,” I growled. “That’s not it!”

“Then what is it?”

I opened my mouth to tell him what I’d told Grace—that I worried the men would tease and taunt, that I’d lose control and hurt someone. But the words sounded so hollow, even to my ears. All his fury about me letting the men down, his disappointment swirled in my head, and I couldn’t find the words. Nothing that made any sense.

“I… I just…” I swallowed in an effort to clear my throat, and he waited. “I just want everything to stop fucking moving for a minute,” I hissed finally. “I’m trying. But, I don’t know how to do this without fucking it up.”

Donavyn’s lips thinned, but his eyes stopped flashing. “None of us do. But you don’t learn or grow by hiding.” He put a hand to my shoulder and squeezed, meeting me eye-to-eye. “Tell them,” he said calmly.

“Why? They’ll only make light of something that is not light and if one of them takes me off guard and touches her. Sir, I might fucking kill him!”

“Voski, this isn’t a conversation. It’s an order. You tell them.”

Every alarm bell in my body clanged together. “Sir, how? They’ll joke about her. She is not a joke.”

“Neither are you.” His brow furrowed. “I have watched these men with Bren. They don’t get everything right. But they want to. Take hold of your balls and tell them what you fear. Explain your need for their compassion. Tell them your weakness. Invite them to strengthen you, instead of taunting.”

“I can’t lead from a place of weakness!” I hissed.

Donavyn tipped his head and his eyes narrowed. “Do I strike you as a weak man, Voski?” he asked quietly. Too quietly. My blood ran cold at the unspoken threat.

“Of course not,” I protested. “But you weren’t afraid.”

“Are you shitting me?” he chuckled, shaking his head. “You think I wasn’t afraid? You’re forgetting very recent history, my friend,” he said with sincere warmth, but then his expression went serious again. He kept his voice low, that hum of dark strength remaining. But there was compassion in it, as well. “Voski, that beautiful woman is your life now. The pair of you, with your dragons, are a unit. And you have a responsibility to all of them. Strengthen that unit. Don’t erode it.”

“I don’t want to,” I insisted. “But…”