Page 100 of Meet Me in Ivy Falls

‘I was traveling to support our family,’ he insisted. ‘That’s what a good father does.’

‘We didn’t need more money, Dad. We needed you.’ I hadn’t expected to get choked up but I began to think about how broken our relationship was. How much Mom had been that bridge between us.

He rubbed the back of his neck. ‘As a father, you feel a duty to care for your family. It consumes your every thought. You worry about setting a good example. Showing your children what can be achieved through hard work. I was tough on you and your sister because I wanted you to be strong.’

‘Strong?’ I gripped the edges of the chair, trying not to let my temper rise. ‘You pushed us away. Belittled us. You claim you were working to support us, but we felt abandoned.’

‘That was never my intention. My first thought was always of you, your sister.’ He gulped, his face going ashen. ‘And, of course, your mother.’

‘Tell me what she said to make you stay away that last day.’ I paused, softening my voice. ‘Please, I need to know.’

All the blood drained from his face and he took two small steps before sinking back into his chair.

‘When your mother accepted the treatment wasn’t working, she forced me to make her a promise.’ He blinked several times and I recognized the pain in his eyes. ‘We’d been in love since we were in high school. In fact, we were a lot like you and Beck – practically attached at the hip. Together we built a life. She wanted hers to end with me thinking about all the happy moments we’d shared, not watching her take her final gasp of air. She asked that I not be in the room when she passed. That I keep her request quiet so it wouldn’t upset you girls.’

He ran a hand over his head, disturbing his perfect white helmet.

‘By then she was so ill, agreeing to her request was the only thing I could do to ease her pain. She wanted her last memory to be of you two girls. She said she’d carry the image of your faces all the way to heaven.’

For the first time in my life, I watched my father’s perfectly curated façade crumble. He closed his eyes and pressed his hands to his face. A slow, choked breath hissed through his teeth.

‘I loved your mother but I know now it was wrong for me to agree. You girls needed me and I wasn’t there. It’s a moment I will regret for the rest of my life. You, Tessa, the girls, you are my world. I’m so sorry that I let all of you down.’

The heartbreaking pain in his voice sent me back to those moments when Mom had begged me to come home, spend time with him, forgive his past mistakes. Tessa had accused me of having tunnel vision when it came to him and she was right. I’d been so angry and heartbroken over losing Mom that it was easier to take my grief out on him rather than let him explain what happened.

Make it right, Torran.

The words beat out like a drum in my head. The way she looked at me with such intensity that last day. How she gripped my hands like she wanted me to understand. Her final request wasn’t about the house or the town. It was about him.

I moved around the desk and knelt in front of him, taking his shaky hands in mine. ‘I’m sorry too. I know how persuasive she could be. How much she loved you. If she’d asked the same thing of me, I wouldn’t have been able to say no.’

He reached out and pulled me into a hug.

‘I shouldn’t have shut you out. Expected you to grieve like me. But most of all, I was wrong not to let you explain the truth,’ I whispered into his chest.

‘I hope you never have to make the kind of choice I had to make with your mother.’ He held on to me like he’d do anything to make the years of our estrangement disappear.

The sound of his strong heart thumped in my ear. When I was a little girl and scared of the shadows in the night, monsters under the bed, Dad would be there. He’d sit on the edge of my bed and whisper words of comfort. Pull me close like this and swear he’d never let anything hurt me. I’d forgotten how much I’d missed that part of him. The vulnerable side he never really showed.

As he clutched me tighter, my gaze swept around the office. The surfaces that weren’t littered with paperwork and books were covered with pictures of Tessa and me as kids. There were some more recent photos we’d taken with Mom before the chemo made her lose all her hair. Of Iris and Rose at the park. When I’d imagined his office, I pictured it to be as stiff and uptight as he was, but he’d made it a tribute to our family.

‘Was it you?’ I said so quietly I wasn’t sure he heard me.

He pulled away and swiped at his wet cheeks. ‘What do you mean?’

‘Did you send the anonymous email to Hearth and Home about the work we were doing on Huckleberry Lane?’

‘No.’ He focused on me with steady eyes. He was telling the truth.

‘In the email, it said that Ivy Falls was in dire financial straits. Is that true?’

‘This town has been struggling for a long time,’ he said with a heavy sigh. ‘The signage contest was the first way I tried to create some buzz. Bring people in. As you may have guessed, it’s not working the way I’d hoped. People aren’t interested in coming to places like Ivy Falls anymore. Too much to do and see in the big cities.’

‘Is that why the town council is so keen on selling to developers? Why they keep throwing up barriers when Manny and I try and renovate these houses?’

He gave me a sad nod. ‘As time goes by, they get more afraid of what will happen if we don’t start generating enough revenue. Or even worse, if Ivy Falls goes bankrupt.’

‘So this has been happening for a while?’