Page 52 of Meet Me in Ivy Falls

Melted Me Open Like Hot Water Poured Over Ice.

Since we’d come back from the bookstore, Beck’s once pleasant mood grew darker. I wasn’t sure what Maisey had said to him, but for the last hour he’d stalked around the room like he’d just lost the biggest account of his life.

I tried to make small talk as I brought in a set of work lights. Danced around the room. Even sang a medley of my favorite COIN songs off-key, but his pissy mood never lifted. He pretended he was fine, but his shoulders bunched up as he picked and pulled at a tricky piece of wallpaper in the corner that refused to budge.

He’d changed in so many ways in the last ten years, but there were other parts of him that were just the same. The lazy tilt to his head when he was thinking. How a small bit of his pink tongue poked out of the side of his mouth when he was focused on something important. In some ways he was a complete stranger and in other ways he was still my beautiful Beck.

‘Are you going to ever tell me why you’re so pissed at your dad?’ he said more to the wall than me.

‘It’s a long and brutal story,’ I confessed. ‘One I’m sure you do not want to hear.’

He stopped working and with long strides he crossed the room until he was standing below me.

‘If you want to tell me, I’m here.’ The gentle tone of his voice sent a deep ache through me.

Nope. This wasn’t supposed to happen. I swore I wouldn’t allow him to get to me, but deep down I knew that was a lie. The moment he’d kissed me I felt it. My heart opening up again.

I stepped down and one of the straps of my overalls fell from my shoulder. When my feet hit the floor, he reached forward and slid it back up. A tense stare passed between us before I mumbled out a shaky thank you.

‘You and your dad have never had it easy. I know he’s been hard on you over the years.’

They were simple words but the calm lull to Beck’s voice melted me open like hot water poured over ice. Suddenly I wanted to tell him everything. About college. About how broken I felt when he left me. How I wasn’t sure I’d ever love anyone the way I’d loved him.

‘It was my mom’s last day,’ I said, setting my tools down on the khaki-colored tarp that spread across the room. ‘The nurses called Tessa and me to say she was fading in and out. That we should come and say our goodbyes. On our way to the hospital, I left voicemails for my dad. Sent him text messages. He didn’t respond to a single one.’

‘That’s weird. I know your dad’s a hard-ass but he was always attentive to your mom.’

‘I know but it was like, POOF, he was gone like some bad magic trick.’

‘What happened next?’

‘Tessa went in first to see her. I needed to gather my thoughts. Figure out what I wanted to say.’ My voice broke and I looked away.

‘Hey,’ he said in that low, careful voice. ‘It’s okay. Take your time.’

I sucked in a breath and forced out the next words. ‘Mom was so fragile. Pale. A skeleton lying in that bed. All I wanted to do was scoop her into my arms and ask her to stay. I couldn’t do that though. Tessa and I agreed that we needed to tell her it was time to let go. To be free.’

I brushed away a tear tumbling down my cheek.

‘The monitors continued to beep and chime for an hour. Her breaths grew ragged with each passing minute. Tessa and I constantly checked our phones. Waiting on some word from him. When my mom slipped away my father was nowhere to be found.’

This time the tears came in one crashing wave. Beck pulled me into his arms and rocked me back and forth. With anyone else I might have felt childish losing it so quickly, but Beck had lost both his parents. I knew he understood my grief.

‘After she was gone, did he show up?’ he asked.

‘Yeah.’ I swiped at my eyes again. ‘He was waiting in the hallway. When we asked why he didn’t come in, he only shrugged and told us he’d already said his goodbyes. Even now,’ I gasped, ‘his behavior, it just feels so callous.’

Beck chewed on the corner of his lip and didn’t say a word.

‘What are you thinking?’

‘While I know your dad can be a jerk, it seems off that he’d behave like that. Maybe he had a reason?’

Anger bubbled in my chest and I pushed away from him. ‘You’ve been gone a long time, Beck. There are a lot of things you don’t understand.’

It was a dig and I shouldn’t have said it. But I couldn’t have him defending my dad even a little. Not after what he’d done to Tessa and me.

I climbed the ladder and went back to work, needing to keep my hands busy. Beck stood below me on the tarp watching me fixate on the wall. The room was at least ninety degrees even with the windows open, but his shirt was still buttoned at the neck and collar. I couldn’t figure out why he insisted on being so formal. If he was going to stay and sweat, he could at least roll up his sleeves.