Page 94 of Meet Me in Ivy Falls

‘Bet you didn’t expect me back so soon,’ I said to the marker.

For most of my life we’d attended the Ivy Falls Community Church, but I’d never given much thought to religion until my mom was in her final days. If I really believed in what the Bible said about the afterlife, then I knew Mom was probably up in heaven telling God about all the good books he needed to add to his TBR pile.

I closed my eyes and let the summer sun warm my face. Cemeteries freaked most people out, but I found them comforting. They were always quiet, peaceful, and for the brief moments I was here I felt closer to Mom.

‘Things have turned out miserably.’

I wasn’t sure who I was talking to – her or the universe. I guess it didn’t matter because, either way, I needed someone or something to listen.

‘Beck is back in Ivy Falls and he’s going through some real shit right now. I want to be there for him but he keeps pushing me away. The truth is I don’t think my heart can take it again if he disappears.’

The tears came freely and I didn’t bother to swipe them away. Mom always said a good cry was soul cleansing.

‘And the house on Huckleberry Lane.’ Just saying the words released a heartbreaking ache. ‘The one you not so subtly told me I should work on is a mess. Part of me feels like it’s my fault that it’s such a wreck. From the first day I saw Beck so out of place at the auction, I knew he had no clue what he was doing. I should’ve been more forceful. Made him see it’d be easier if he’d just sell the house back to me, especially since he had no intention of telling his sister the truth or how she’d react when she saw it. But he refused to listen.’

‘Sounds sort of familiar.’

My heart nearly burst out of my chest as Tessa shuffled up next to me on the grass.

‘Jeez! You scared the crap out of me.’

‘Sorry, I thought for sure you’d hear my footsteps.’

‘No. I was kind of having a moment here with Mom.’

She laid her own bouquet of irises down next to mine and eyed the ones left by Dad.

‘Hi, Mama,’ she said quietly before taking the place next to me on the grass. ‘I’m not even going to ask your number because by the bags under your eyes, and the fact that those overalls look like they haven’t been laundered in days, I’d guess you were about a two.’

‘After the last two weeks, I’d say it was more like a one.’

She kicked out her legs, smoothing out the lines of her yellow cotton skirt. ‘Well, you’re in the right spot. I come here a lot to talk to her.’

‘Does it help?’

‘It did last week when Billy never bothered to show for the girls.’

A swirl of nausea rocked my stomach. ‘Tessa, I’m the worst sister ever. I totally forgot.’

‘It’s fine,’ she said more to the air than me.

‘I hate the word fine. It’s what you say when you’re hurting but you won’t admit it to yourself or anyone else.’

She blew out a long breath. ‘I was furious at first. The girls cried in their rooms. Dad showed up a little while after, like he knew Billy was going to bail out. He took the girls to Sugar Rush and Barb and Susan stuffed them with so many donuts I was sure they were going to be sick.’

‘I’m glad…’ I took a thick gulp and offered her a smile. ‘I’m happy he helped out when I couldn’t.’

‘Listen, Tor. You’ve got a lot going on between the house and Beck. There are times when you can’t be there and I understand.’

‘I still feel bad that I didn’t know. Did he ever call? Say why he didn’t show?’

She gave me a sad shrug. ‘Yes. He fed me some nonsense about car trouble. Promised he’d come next weekend. I told him not to bother. That he’d be receiving divorce papers, and I’m asking for full custody. I’m done messing around with that shithead.’

Her cheeks went deep pink but she stuck out her chin like her mind was made up.

‘Whoa, Tessa. Way to go!’

‘I’m tired of waiting on him to be a good father.’ She let out a bitter laugh. ‘He’s never cared about me and the girls. Always put his needs before ours. I’m done being his doormat. Getting walked all over just because I’m nice. I deserve a man who is going to believe in me. Love me for who I am. I’m never settling for anything less again.’