Page 74 of Keeping Score

“I was at work, then I was out driving.”

“Driving?” I asked. “Where? Why?”

“It doesn’t matter.” She shook her head. “Come on, let’s go.”

“Mags,” I said, grabbing her hand as if she might slip away if I weren’t anchoring her down. “You gotta tell me what’s going on because I’m not going to lie, you’re kind of making me nervous lately.”

She frowned, pulling back.

“Why?” she asked.

“You’ve been off lately. And I know you’ve been upset about Liam, but this feels bigger than that. You haven’t been talking about it. You’ve been out all the time. You’re constantly in motion. I’m worried, Maggie. And I miss you.”

“Then come hang out with me,” she pleaded. “Please.”

I stared at her, imagining the stormy green shade of her eyes, despite the darkness of the bedroom.

Maggie had been known to drag me into her adventures whenever the whim took her, but this felt different. This felt like she was trying to escape something. And I was scared that if I didn’t go with her, she might escape without me.

I had practice early the next morning, but it didn’t matter. What mattered was Maggie, and she needed me. I liked being needed by her. Needed to be needed by her, in fact.

So, I didn’t give her the opportunity to ask me again, because I knew she wouldn’t.

That was the thing about Maggie. She only asked for something once, and if you were too slow to act on it, then you lost it for good.

I wasn’t going to lose Maggie.

Not now, not ever.

So before she had the chance to slip away, I was already getting out of bed and putting clothes on. I didn’t need to ask where we were going or what we’d do when we got there.

Being with Maggie was enough. It had always been enough.

“Okay,” I told her, understanding that she just needed me to go along with this without question, for the sake of whatever storm was brewing inside of her. “Let’s go.”

As it turned out, Maggie didn’t know what she wanted.

A common occurrence with her—knowing she wanted something, but unable to figure out what exactly that might be.

That’s where I usually came in, content to fill in the blanks.

I knew Maggie. I knew her better than I knew anyone else in the world. I could understand her, even if she sometimes seemed like an unsolvable puzzle to everyone else around her.

She was simple when it came down to it. Her actions, seemingly impulsive, were usually triggered by something bigger.

That was usually the biggest mystery to figure out. Not trying to rationalize what she was doing, but trying to figure out the why.

Right now, Maggie wanted fresh air, freedom, to feel the expanse of the world around us without feeling like the walls were closing in on her.

I could tell that by the way she was crawling out of her skin, hell-bent on escaping whatever feelings were bottled up inside of her.

I couldn’t push her, not until she was ready to talk. I knew that. I could be patient. I always was, and she always came around.

I think it made her comfortable, knowing I was there to listen, that I never pressured her into analyzing her feelings before she was ready to come to the conclusion herself. Sometimes, like Liam, she just needed a little space to sort herself out.

“Where are we going?” she asked me expectantly, knowing I had already taken over the matter of deciding our destination, even though the whole midnight adventure had been her idea.

“I know a place,” I told her.