Page 143 of Where Roads Lead

I didn’t even want to want anyone else.

But he didn’t want to hear all that. He wanted to know point blank why I hadn’t told him that I was interested in her. Especially since he’d been upfront with me from the start.

But I couldn’t have told him I liked her, even if I’d wanted to. The truth was, I didn’t even know it myself until I was past the point of being able to talk about it.

“She sort of…snuck up on me,” I said, tugging my baseball cap behind me. “And you’d been trying to ask her out since she got to town, and I don’t know. I just didn’t know what to say, I guess.”

It wasn’t a good enough excuse. It sounded pathetic even to my own ears.

“I’m sorry,” I told him honestly. “It was a dick move. Lying and not saying anything and then swooping in last night the way I did. I wouldn’t blame you if you hated me.”

Hell, I hated him when I thought he was standing in the way of me and Elsie.

“What?” He narrowed his eyes, a disbelieving shake of his head. “I don’t hate you, man. I’m just confused why you didn’t think you could talk to me about it.”

“If I could’ve found a way to say it without sounding like I was in seventh grade, I would’ve,” I admitted gruffly.

“It doesn’t matter now.” He waved a hand. “She never liked me, anyway. I think I always knew that. Besides, it was clear from day one that there was something going on between you two. I just didn’t think you’d actually pursue it. If you’d told me you wanted her, you know I would’ve backed off.”

“If it was a matter of just wanting her, it would’ve been a hell of a lot easier,” I admitted. “The thing is—” I paused, not knowing if I should even be admitting something like this out loud. “I feel like I need her.”

It felt dangerous to say. Like admitting it to someone else would somehow make me lose her all the sooner.

“Shit.” Theo grinned. “Will Hughes in love. Never thought I’d see the day.”

“So, we’re cool then?” I asked.

“Of course, dude.” He held up a fist to bump, and I blew out a breath, grateful beyond belief that Theo was still the same laid-back guy I’d grown up with.

“Thanks.” I met his fist with my own, but before it dropped, his expression shifted, slightly enough that I might not have noticed if I hadn’t been paying as close attention as I was.

“What? What’s that face for?”

“Nothing,” Theo said, shrugging it off quickly. “It’s none of my business.”

“What is it?”

“It’s just that…well, isn’t the reason I was interested in her going to be a big opposition for you?”

“Meaning?”

“Meaning…hasn’t her plan always been to, you know, leave? And, like, really fucking soon?”

And there it was. The needle in my bubble that I would’ve been perfectly content to stay in as long as possible.

“Well, yeah,” I admitted, remembering her timeline of three months. “But that was before—”

Before what? Before we kissed? Before we hooked up? Before I figured out how pathetically I need her to stay?

We hadn’t even talked about what it was we were doing. What if to her, I was just a guy to pass the time with until she skipped town? I couldn’t handle that. I already knew I couldn’t. Not now, when I knew what it was like to have her.

Theo must’ve read every thought in my head because he slapped my back sympathetically

“I’m gonna head to the back and help Ava,” he said, pausing right before he passed me. “But if I were you, I’d figure that out before you get any more invested than you already are.”

Too fucking late for that.

Theo’s words spread like a virus through my mind all morning, replaying themselves over and over until they distorted into something far worse than what they’d started out as.