Page 138 of My Family

Ethan's already changed. The black uniform shirt hugs him, and it makes his arms look insane. I follow him into the weight room. He stands behind the bench and spots me while I do my sets. Then we swap. I love doing this with him. I love doing anything with him.

We don't shower because we stay there until MMA.

Griff is determined to train me in Brazilian jiu-jitsu. He says I'm better suited to grappling than striking styles like karate or Muay Thai.

Today he's showing me how to do a rear-naked choke, and I almost make Jack faint with it.

After MMA, we shower, and we're ridiculously tired.

If Ethan has to work, he goes to his office. Otherwise, we stay in our room or in the rec room with the others.

Today, it's just the two of us in our room, in his bed.

It's so cold that being under both blankets feels amazing, especially the extra one they give us in winter.

We talk a lot, Ethan and me, when we're alone.

Sometimes we talk about the future, about what we'll do when we're out.

Sometimes we talk about things we like.

Sometimes we talk about random shit, like how the fuck people trained pigeons to deliver messages, and he knows so many useless facts that it's ridiculous.

I think he knows everything about everything.

Sometimes we don't talk at all.

We just breathe together.

Tonight, we talk.

We lie on our backs, Ethan's arm under my head, my hand tucked into his armpit, which is the warmest place on earth.

I tell him about Lu’s soup. I tell him I want to make it for him when we have our own kitchen, with real knives and herbs that don't come dried in a bag. I tell him I want a house with a garden. I want to plant tomatoes and cucumbers and jalapeños. He grins at that.

"You'd get bored of the vegetables after a week," he says.

"Not if you're there to force me to eat them."

He tells me about his brother, how Tyler is still struggling to stay out of trouble, but he's trying. Really trying.

He tells me about his Auntie, who he'll visit during the break.

Christmas break is coming, and I've been staying out of trouble, so I'll probably be allowed to leave.

But I have nowhere to go.

I'm not sure I want to stay at my dad's with his new girlfriend there.

"You could come with me," Ethan says. "To Auntie's."

"She'd have me?"

"Of course!" he exclaims, almost offended that I'd even ask. I chuckle. I kiss him. He pulls me closer. We fall asleep for a while, curled up together. I wake when the door opens and Jack comes in, humming to himself, followed by Miles and then Harry.

End of rec time.

Jack's face is red from the cold, and he's carrying a bag of chips, which is contraband, but he doesn't care.