Page 68 of My Family

That I am eventually, inevitably, going to lose him the way I've lost everything.

I want to tell him he's being an idiot. I want to tell him he isn't going anywhere. That I'm not letting him. That he isn't Reed's, he isn't anyone else's.

He's mine.

Except he isn't.

Not if he doesn't want to be.

And that's when I realize I've fully lost control of myself, because I feel hot drops running down my face.

I haven't cried in a long time. It isn't something I do easily. I wouldn't have survived my parents' house if I broke down every time things got bad. But right now I keep seeing Tyler in that hospital bed, skin yellowed, and I keep seeing Reed's arm around Liam, and it's all just too much.

The tears come and won't stop.

Liam goes completely still. His expression changes instantly. His blue eyes fill too.

"You don't understand, Liam," I say. "You're everything to me. And if you want to leave, of course you can. You're not mine if you don't want to be, no matter what I say. But I don't want that. I love you. All I want is to be with you. I promise I'm going to try as hard as I can to be here for you, even with the shifts, even with Tyler. I'm sorry I left you alone."

And then he starts crying too.

This time, he's the one who comes to me.

He hugs me tightly. I wrap my arms around him and hold him back, careful now, feeling his tears against me.

"I'm so sorry too, Daddy," he murmurs. "I was feeling so alone."

"I know."

"I know you don't like Reed."

"Forget Reed," I say. "I trust you. And I don't want you to feel so alone. I know you'd never do anything to actually hurt me."

"I'd never cheat on you," he says.

"I know that, baby." And I do. "I know Reed is an idiot who doesn't understand boundaries."

"You're right," he admits, voice a little rough. "I shouldn't have let him put his arm around me like that. I did it on purpose because I knew you were coming back and I wanted you to see it. I was angry at you."

"I deserved it," I say.

He shakes his head.

"You were with your brother. You were working. I'm just angry because I don't want to lose you. I don't want this to end."

"I don't want it to end either!" I say, too loud. Someone in the hallway probably heard. "All I want is to be with you forever. I would marry you today. But I understand if you need time, if you want to explore other—"

He laughs.

"Absolutely not. I may be young, but I've unfortunately been with guys since I was twelve, and all I want is to be with you forever."

I'm quiet for a second.

He keeps going, slower.

"My dad said he's not coming anymore because he has a new girlfriend. He abandoned me again."

And then everything makes sense.