Page 56 of In the Dead of Night

CHAPTER FOURTEEN

Nick leaned back into the pillow and watched the light from the candle flicker and dance on the ceiling. Next to him, Sara slept with the soundness of an exhausted child. After being alone for so long, he should have taken comfort in the warmth of her body against his and the steady rhythm of her breathing. He should be enjoying the afterglow of one of the most erotic nights of his life.

But Nick was troubled. He’d been lying next to her for nearly three hours, sleepless, unable to turn off his mind. Dawn was less than an hour away now. He wanted to believe he was just keyed up from a night of intense lovemaking. But he was honest enough with himself to admit the problem was a hell of a lot more complicated than the aftereffects of mind-blowing sex.

Sara was everything a man could ever want in a life partner and more. She was funny and intelligent and sexy as hell. She could be maddeningly stubborn and headstrong, but her flaws balanced her good points and only made him want her more. He should have been overjoyed that he’d been lucky enough to find her.

But then that was the heart of the problem.

After Nancy’s death, Nick had sworn he would never lay his heart on the line again. That kind of love was too fragile. He knew all too well that fate could dole out unfathomable grief and loss. Nick needed to keep his life on an even keel. Perhaps he would be willing to risk falling in love if he’d had more time to heal. But it had only been a year. Lying in the semidarkness, his heart in turmoil, the thought of love sent a cold blade of fear right through his center.

God in heaven, was it possible he’d fallen in love with Sara in the short time he’d known her?

He actually heard his breathing rate increase as the realization bled into his psyche. His heart began to pound. Sweat slicked his forehead….

“Nick?”

Not wanting her to see him like this, Nick sat up and swung his legs over the side of the bed. He put his face in his hands and tried to get a grip. His body jolted when she set her hand on his arm.

“My God, you’re trembling.” Sitting up, she pulled the covers to her chest. Concern showed in her eyes when she made eye contact. “What’s wrong?”

He didn’t want to look at her. Didn’t want her to know he was falling for her and that the thought sent him into a state of unadulterated terror.

“I’m fine,” he snapped. “Leave it alone.”

“Was it a dream?”

Dislodging her hand from his arm, he stood. He found his jeans draped over the chair and yanked them on. “No.”

“Then what’s going on?”

Nick started for the living room. He had to get out of there. Away from her questions, her misplaced concern and the kind of temptation even a cautious man couldn’t resist. He didn’t need her. Didn’t want what she represented in his life. Damn it, he needed things to be on an even keel and she was screwing it up for him.

At the counter, Nick immersed himself in the simple chore of making coffee. He scooped beans and poured water and tried not to think of what he’d let happen.

“Nick.”

He didn’t want to turn and face her. He didn’t want to look into her eyes and see caring and concern and an array of other emotions he couldn’t reciprocate. He didn’t want her to see what he knew was written all over his face. Or feel the heady pull of desire every time he laid eyes on her.

“Go back to bed,” he said.

“What’s wrong?”

When he didn’t respond, she crossed to him, grasped his arm and turned him to her. “Talk to me. Please.”

She wore the denim shirt he’d worn the night before. The hem fell to mid-thigh. The sleeves were too long and covered her hands. Beneath the denim, he saw curves he didn’t want to acknowledge. Soft flesh and secret places. Worst of all, he saw compassion in her eyes and another emotion he didn’t want to name.

He didn’t know what to say. Didn’t think he could put into words the emotions banging around inside him. He cared about her more than he wanted to. More than was wise. They’d made love twice, but already he wanted her again. He knew it was selfish and stupid and self-centered, but part of him was angry with her for doing that to him.

“What happened between us was amazing.” God, he sounded like an idiot. “But I’m in no frame of mind to be getting tangled up right now.”

Her eyes narrowed, her expression went wary. “I didn’t realize we were tangled up.”

“Let me spell it out for you then,” he snapped. “I’ve been a widower for a year. I’m not ready to jump into any kind of relationship.”

“Nick, we’re friends. Last night…was spontaneous. It doesn’t have to happen again if we don’t want it to.”

That she was being so reasonable only served to make him angrier. Couldn’t she see that this had been a bad idea? Couldn’t she see it would end badly? Nick wasn’t ready to have his heart ripped out of his chest again. Not in this damn lifetime.